Fu proprio là nella corsia di un ospedale
che aprii gli occhi e vidi un letto accanto al mio,
il primo giorno si ha una sensazione spiacevole e volgare
e i piccoli disagi non fanno bene al cuore.
Ma la notte, la notte
aumenta lo spessore del dolore con le sue presenze,
la notte, il cuore è gonfio la notte
e i lamenti dei malati riempiono le stanze.
Ma stranamente il giorno dopo prima che arrivino i parenti
si fa un poco di ironia persino sui lamenti
e il letto accanto al mio con dentro un uomo grosso e un po’ volgare
diventa una presenza singolare.
"Gildo, come faccio, mi vergogno, dovrei andare..."
Gildo, il grosso Gildo mi insegna da sdraiato come devo fare
e intanto a pochi metri di distanza si fatica a respirare.
Sono le innocenti stonature di un salotto,
sono i piccoli fastidi, i gesti un po’ meschini
che fanno l’uomo veramente brutto.
Ma in ospedale dove la perdita è totale,
dove lo schifo che devi superare
è quello di aiutare un uomo a vomitare.
Dove non c’è più nessuna inibizione
dal vomito al sudore, alla defecazione
e allora salti il piano se lo sai saltare
e entri in un altro reparto dell’amore.
"Gildo io vorrei che all’insaputa delle suore..."
Gildo, il grosso Gildo mi passa di nascosto qualche cosa da mangiare
e intanto a pochi metri di distanza un uomo muore.
Si parla poco e piano per diverse ore
e a notte alta quell’ospite agghiacciante vien portato via,
riprende indisturbato e noncurante il ritmo della corsia.
I piccoli disagi, l’ho già detto non fanno bene al cuore
ma il senso della morte
è sempre stato troppo forte.
Gildo, non l'ho mai saputo immaginare,
chissà perché improvvisamente diventa elementare,
potrà sembrare irriverente ma qualche ora dopo
ridevamo tutti per niente.
Ma a scanso di fraintesi
non è il cinismo mestierante e fastidioso dei dottori
ma il senso della vita che ti spinge fuori.
"Gildo, mi dispiace, son guarito, devo andare..."
e Gildo che naturalmente mai più nella mia vita ci avrò il gusto di incontrare
nasconde, questa volta con vergogna, il suo dolore.
Il cielo azzurro e teso
e le mie gambe strane, senza peso
attraversavo il giardino tremante
come in un sogno riposante.
Gli occhi delle nuove madri luccicavano
e i grossi seni sotto le vestaglie biancheggiavano,
solitario avvertivo quel candore, quell’aria di purezza
e il cielo era azzurrino e c’era un po’ di brezza
e stranamente un senso d’amore che non so dire...
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