Pace, Bigazzi, Savio
Sono in quest'isola da oltre seimila anni
E mi tortura solo un'idea: chi mi ha costruito la barca.
Sono Noè.
Ho visto passare tante di quelle barche in piedi:
solo la mia si è affondata.
Ne vedo di tutti i colori: bianche, bianche bianche, rosse, verdi
La mia era anemica, ma l'aveva assicurata quel pecorone che si reggeva in piedi.
Fatti in là, lombrico, che sto parlando.
M'aveva assicurato che reggeva per duemila anni.
Come sono salpato, dopo quattro minuti già fallava, faceva già acqua.
Per trovare il cesso ci voleva un rabdomante,
quando l'ho trovato c'era l'oceano.
Due antilopi sono scappate a Roma, invece un serpente a Mosca,
Leone che stava vicino a me, ha raggiunto le due antilopi:
mi fa ridere perché dopo seimila anni è tornata fuori questa faccenda. Molto strano.
Meno male che con me m'ero portato Stivel Laschs, che mi tiene compagnia,
e Suelle, la cugina di Puelle. E' un po' anzianotta, ma mi tiene buona compagnia.
Ultimamente mi sono dato all'editoria.
Ho fatto una co-edizione con Nostradamus,
e ho previsto diversi guaioni per voi, terrestri.
Il signor Noè a telefono. Il signor Noè a telefono.
- Chi sarà. Pronto?
- Pronto? Son Noè. No, no, scusa, scusa, son Nettuno, quello de' cantieri...
- Poc'anzi t'avevo nominato.
- Eh, meno male, guarda... te ne sei ricordata quella fatturina? C'ho quella fatturina...
- E me lo chiami un difetto?
- No, ora, ora i' difetto lascia fare perché tanto sai quello... però, però...
- A parte il fatto che l'arredamento era tremendo.
- No... treme... tremendo un cazzo! Eh...
- Sono inciampato cinque volte.
- No, inciampato, ora unn'esageriamo inciampato, via...
- Sul cesso di moquette che mi hai messo nella mia camera da letto.
- No... scusa, parlo io un minuto. Inciampato per dire...
- Per non parlare del rifugio, degli animali.
- Macchè rifugio... il rifugio te l'ha fatto quell'altro bastardo di Vigevano...
- Ah sì? Li trovavo da tutte le parti...
- No no no no no no no no no no, no no no no, senti, io c'ho la fattura, te l'ho mandata...
- Sì? Hai ricevuto una raccomandata?
- No... io ho ricevuto la raccomandata? Ma chi me l'ha mandata?
- Sono i miei figli, a Montecarlo...
- Ah... i figl...eh, no no no no no.
- ...che hanno messo una ditta di barche.
- Ah, alle spalle mie? Allora te tu mi vorresti fa' la concorrenza.
- Le spalle decenti, sì.
- Noè?
- No no no no...
- Noè, senti, ho bisogno di quattrini una cosa bestiale... bestiale, guarda, sono rovin... è seimila anni che soffro. C'ho una cambiale fra du' giorni.
- Sei veramente una testa calda.
- Oddio, testa calda, vero, unn'offendiamo, ma comunque...
- Lasciami la mia tranquillità. E' passato molto tempo.
- Ora io un ti voleo disturbare...
- Poi l'IVA non c'era.
- L'IVA, che discorsi... si fa tutto nero. Eh...
- No.
- Come no? Che ha' bisogno, della fattura?
- E dovrei pagarti per quel mozzicone galleggiante? Mai.
- No, mozzico... stai calmo, ha vinto anche le regate quella lì...
- Uno stoico muore ma non aderisce.
- E non aderire, io voglio quattrini. Eh. Unn'ho capito. Ora fra poco c'è un altro diluvio in, in programmazione, figurati, me le chiedan com'i pane... se no tu mi rendi la barca. Affondata. Affondata un cazzo! Affondata. Affondo ma io, un c'ho un bottone. Accident'a te, Noè. Fa anche rima.
Scoraggiando
Testo mandato da
Fabio Fantini
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