[Intro]
OK, I'm going to attempt to drown myself
You can try this at home
You can be just like me!
[Verso 1]
Mic check one two..
we recordin?
I'm cancerous, so when I diss you
wouldn't wanna answer this
If you responded back with a
battle rap you wrote for Canibus
I strangled you to death
then I choked you again
Then break your fuckin legs
till your bones poke through your skin
You beef wit me,
I'ma even the score equally
Take you on Jerry Springer,
and beat yer ass legally
I get you blunted off
of funny home grown
Cause when I smoke out
I hit the trees harder
than Sonny Bono
(Ohh no!!) So if I said
I never did drugs
That would mean I lie AND get fucked
more than the President does
Hillary Clinton tried to slap me
and call me a pervert
I ripped her fuckin tonsils out
and fed her sherbet (Bitch!)
My nerves hurt,
and lately I'm on edge
Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out
his blonde dreads (Fuck you!)
Every girl I ever went out
wit is goin lez
Follow me and do exactly
what the song says:
smoke weed, take pills,
drop outta school,
kill people and drink
And jump behind the wheel
like it was still legal
I'm dumb enough to walk
in a store and steal
So I'm dumb enough to ask
for a date with Lauryn Hill
Some people only see
that I'm white, ignorin skill
Cause I stand out like
a green hat with a orange bill
But I don't get pissed,
y'all don't even see through the mist
How the fuck can I be white,
I don't even exist
I get a clean shave,
bathe, go to a rave
Die from an overdose and
dig myself up out of my grave
My middle finger won't go down,
how do I wave?
And this is how I'm supposed
to teach kids how to behave?
[Ritornello]
Now follow me and do
exactly what you see
Don't you wanna grow up
to be just like me!
I slap women and eat
shrooms then O.D.
Now don't you wanna
grow up to be just like me!
[Verso 2]
Me and Marcus Allen
went over to see Nicole
When we heard a knock at the door,
must have been Ron Gold'
Jumped behind the door,
put the orgy on hold
Killed em both
and smeared blood
in a white Bronco (we did it!)
My mind won't work
if my spine don't jerk
I slapped Garth Brooks
out of his Rhinestone shirt
I'm not a player
just a ill rhyme sayer
That'll spray an Aerosol can up
at the ozone layer (psssssssh)
My rap style's warped,
I'm runnin out the morgue
witcha dead grandmother's corpse
to throw it on your porch
Jumped in a Chickenhawk
cartoon wit a cape on
And beat up Foghorn
Leghorn with an acorn
I'm bout as normal
as Norman Bates,
with deformative traits
A premature birth that
was four minutes late
Mother.. are you there? I love you
I never meant to hit you over
the head with that shovel
Will someone explain to
my brain that I just severed
a main vein with a
chainsaw and I'm in pain?
I take a breather and sighed;
either I'm high, or I'm nuts
Cause if you ain't tiltin
this room, neither am I
So when you see your mom with
a thermometer shoved in her ass
Then it probably is obvious
I got it on with her
Cause when I drop this
solo shit it's over with
I bought Cage's tape,
opened it, and dubbed over it
[Ritornello]
I came to the club
drunk with a fake ID
Don't you wanna grow up
to be just like me!
I've been with
10 women who got HIV
Now don't you wanna
grow up to be just like me!
I got genital warts
and it burns when I pee
Don't you wanna grow up
to be just like me!
I tie a rope around my penis
and jump from a tree
You probably wanna grow up
to be just like me!!!
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Bridgit Mendler