(Loudon Wainwright III)
There once was a man who just couldn't cry
He hadn't cried for years and for years
Napalmed babies and the movie love story
For instance could not produce tears
As a child he had cried as all children will
Then at some point his tear ducts ran dry
He grew to be a man, the feces hit the fan
Things got bad, but he couldn't cry
His dog was run over, his wife up and left him
And after that he got sacked from his job
Lost his arm in the war, was laughed at by a whore
Ah, but sill not a sniffle or sob
His novel was refused, his movie was panned
And his big Broadway show was a flop
He got sent off to jail; you guessed it, no bail
Oh, but still not a dribble or drop
In jail he was beaten, bullied and buggered
And made to make license plates
Water and bread was all he was fed
But not once did a tear stain his face
Doctors were called in, scientists, too
Theologians were last and practically least
They all agreed sure enough; this was sure no cream puff
But in fact an insensitive beast
He was removed from jail and placed in a place
For the insensitive and the insane
He played lots of chess and made lots of friends
And he wept every time it would rain
Once it rained forty days and it rained forty nights
And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried
On the forty-first day, he passed away
He just dehydrated and died
Well, he went up to heaven, located his dog
Not only that, but he rejoined his arm
Down below, all the critics, they loot it all back
Cancer robbed the whore of her charm
His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke
The theologians were finally found out
Right down to the ground, that old jail house burned down
The earth suffered perpetual drought
Johnny Cash (Kingsland, Arkansas, February 26, 1932 – Nashville, Tennessee, September 12, 2003) was an American singer, musician, and actor widely considered one of the most influential figures in country music. Born into a poor farming family in the Deep South, Cash began singing in his local church and listening to country music on the radio. After serving in the military in Germany, where he learned to play guitar, he moved to Memphis and launched his musical career. His unique style, characterized by a deep baritone voice and often autobiographical lyrics that addressed themes of poverty, social justice, and addiction struggles, quickly made him popular. Among his most famous songs are "Ring of Fire", "I Walk the Line", "Folsom Prison Blues", and "A Boy Named Sue". Cash collaborated with numerous artists, including June Carter Cash, his wife from 1968 until his death. He won numerous awards, including the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award in 1997. His music continues to be enjoyed by generations of fans worldwide.
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