Oh no, there they go another herd of elephants
With big fat legs in tight black pants
And an image of themselves that can't be clear
'Cause it's obvious they ain't never looked in a mirror
Following fashion is no surprise
But when the fashion follows the form of your thighs
And reveals every mound and cluster of fat
Then it's time to take 'em off and take the damn things back
But no, they gotta go strut their stuff
And I'm here to say that enough is enough
Spandex shorts, stretch pants and such
If you weigh too much you're showin' way too much
Spandex doesn't hide where you sag
You look like a goddam hefty bad
Wrappin' up all your cellulite wreckage
Somethin' tells me it's gonna be one of those decades
Marchin' in the mall two ton by two
I guarantee that they're gonna sit by you
Showin' off everything the fabric ain't fixin'
Please God please no more fat chicks in spandex
Everywhere I go I just can't get away
From the overweight legs gift wrapped every day
I'm a humble man, I don't ask for much
But it would be nice to keep down my lunch
But I can't, they always walk by when I'm eating
My muscles all lock and my heart starts beating
Irregularly every time that I see
A walking wooly mammoth in a woman's size three
Clumps of fat popping out everywhere
Her pants are so tight I can see all her hair
It wiggles and wobbles when they're ridin' on a bike
Now I know what Al Bundy must feel like
The only thing I can imagine that would be any worse
Is Roger Ebert in a speedo but that's a whole nother verse
They wear 'em so much they're gonna wear the things up
And when the pants give away they're gonna all hang out
Beauty's in the eye of the beholder but
When these beauties walk by I keep my eyes shut
Black abominations they're squeezin' their hips in
Please God please no more fat chicks in spandex
If the back of your legs look like cottage cheese
If you're talking scale says "get off please"
If both of your breasts hang down to your knees
Then you shouldn't be wearin' any spandex
If you look like you're related to the Toxic Avenger
If a whale gets beached and you try to befriend her
If a mechanic sees your body and attaches a fender
Then you won't look good in those spandex
I'm gonna find who designed them it's all his fault
I'm afraid I'm gonna turn into a pillar of salt
When I accidentally look at a derriere
That looks like a walking bean bag chair
This has to be a dream but I can't wake up
It's too horrible a story to ever make up
It's the curse of the 20th century man
To be subjected to this torture again and again
By comparison the Spanish Inquisition was tame
Undersize pants on an oversize dame
Just ain't the way I like to get my kicks
Oh please God please no more fat chicks in spandex
Sudden Death is a bit of a mystery to us. Their discography includes Unpure Burial, Die Laughing, Fatal Error, Fatal Accident Zone and Injection of Hate.
In the realm of rock 'n' roll, there are few names as iconic as Queen, and within the Queen pantheon, Brian May stands out not only as a legendary guitarist but also as an astrophysicist with a profound connection to NASA.
Hip-hop, one of the most influential cultural movements of the 20th and 21st centuries, has recently reached a significant milestone - it's turning 50 years old.
Coachella Festival 2022: here we are. In two days the doors of one of the most anticipated musical events of the year will open, even more so after the last two years in which for very obvious reasons the live music sector has suffered a very important setback.
The 2022 Grammy Awards were the chronicle of an announced triumph: Jon Baptiste collected 11 nominations and won 5 Grammys, defeating all opponents. This was also the year of the very young Olivia Rodrigo, who managed to take home 3 Grammys, including the the best new artist.
Here is finally some good news, the Arcade Fire have finally revealed the title and release date of their new album, 5 years after the last one. For the fan of the group it has been a time that seemed eternal,
Do we want to define "I know you know me" a masterpiece? Yes, without a shadow of a doubt for at least two reasons. The first and most evident are the artists who interpret it: Caroline Spence and Matt Berninger, second for the deep and poetic text.
My favorite group when I was just a teenager were the Fugees, thanks to them a certain curiosity about english language was born in me. I wanted to know and understand the lyrics of their songs, it wasn't enough for me to be carried away exclusively by their beautiful music.
Sweden and the United States are two countries far from each other, thousands of kilometers separate them, the language, culinary and sporting traditions, I don't feel so categorical about the landscapes, not knowing all of America there may be states that have the same reliefs of the country of northern Europe, but on one thing I am sure
It has been talked about for almost 3 years, rumored and it is hoped that sooner or later they will arrive at a collaboration, and now we are satisfied: the Catalan singer Rosalia and the American musician Oneohtrix finally announce the publication of a piece together!
In England there are institutions that are untouchable, first of all Queen Elizabeth II who reigns undisputed in the beating heart of every Englishman, then there are the Beatles, and that's the reason why they were awarded the title of baronets.
Looking at the images, one immediately thinks of archive photos of at least a year and a half ago. Lots of people together without masks dancing freely
How a music group can deliver strong and clear messages without singing is a mystery yet Canadians GoodSpeed You! Black Emperor they succeed very well.
"Creep" by Radiohead is certainly one of the most listened to, revisited and reinterpreted songs in the history of music. So much loved and listened to on all six continents, at least once in our life we all found ourselves humming it.
Very bad story for rapper T.I. and his wife Tiny, in fact, they have been accused of sexual abuse and kidnapping.
The malefactor managed to take Koji and Gustavo away, while Miss Asia, the third bulldog, escaped and was found shortly after by Lady Gaga's bodyguards.
David Crosby against Phoebe Bridgers, if we had been in the Middle Ages, they probably would have challenged each other with the sword, while in 2021 they decided to go wild with tweets.
Evan Rachel Wood, the beautiful protagonist of Westworld has decided to denounce the violence she has suffered for years, at least according to what she claims, by Marilyn Manson.
After some positive signs in the past months, here is the news that we weren't hoping to learn and that throws new questions on the possibility of organizing festivals and live concerts for 2021.
The winners of the 43rd edition of the Kennedy Center Honors have recently been announced, including Joan Baez, Dick Van Dyke, Debbie Allen and the violinist Midori.
The band Soundgarden recently recorded two classics with Brandie Carlile. After the death of their leader Chris Cornell, the band had decided to stop for some time also as a sign of respect for the untimely death of their front man.
New year is synonymous of news and in fact 2021 opened with a nice surprise. The American rock group, The Foo Fighters, founded in 1994 by Dave Grohl ex drummer of Nirvana, delight us with the release of a new single entitled "No son of Mine".
He was 69 and on Christmas Day, guitarist Tony Rice, Bluegrass legend, passed away. His label, Rounder Records, made the news with an official release on December 26th.
We still talk about music, but today we do it from a different point of view, taking a cue from a book, a photographic book called Ten Cities.
I was about 6 years old when I listened for the first time "Blowing in the wind" hummed by my mom while she was accompanying me to school, the version was the Italian one, but I liked the rhythm right away.
