Bodo Wartke

Lyrics Gaffer 2000 Bodo Wartke

 473

Rate this lyrics:
Rating: 0.0/10 - Total rating: 0

Gaffer 2000


Manche geh'n ins Fitnesscenter,
andere ins Solarium.
Mache haben Hunde, Katzen,
andere ein Aquarium.

Manche sammeln Briefmarken,
andere sammeln Geld.
Manche sammeln: was weiß ich?!
- naja, wem's halt gefällt...

Manche kegeln im Verein,
andere spielen Skat.
Manche reden über Fußball,
andere fahren Fahrrad.

Ob Wiesen, Felder oder
Wälder zu durchwandern -
alles nix für mich!
Ich bin anders als die anderen...

Letzte Woche war das, ich erinn're mich genau,
da stand ich mit meiner Frau auf der Autobahn im Stau.
Und ich sag zu meiner Frau: 'Da ist sicher was passiert.
Da fahr'n wir jetzt mal hin, weil mich das brennend interessiert.?

Und ich saus' mit quietschenden Reifen
über'n breiten Seitenstreifen
hinaus bis an die Spitze des Staus.

Siehe da, da liegt ein Auto, das ist grade am Verbrennen.
Drinnen sind Leute eingeklemmt! ...Keine, die wir kennen.
Fünfmeter hohe Flammen! Voll das Abenteuer, yeah!
Hey toll, wir sind hier die ersten! Noch vor der Feuerwehr!

Ich halt' alles fest auf VHS, damit ich's nicht vergess':

'Schatz, stell' dich doch bitte einmal vor die verkohlte Leiche... Ja, sehr schön! Und jetzt: Lächeln!?

Ich bin ein Gaffer.
Ja, am Gaffen find' ich vollen Gefallen.
Ich bin ein Gaffer.
Ja, das ist das schönste Hobby von allen.

Beim Schlittschuhlaufen bricht ein kleines Kind ein ins Eis.
Um die Einbruchstelle bildet sich sofort ein großer Kreis.
Wie immer stell' ich mich schnell in die erste Reih'.
Schade, gerade jetzt hab' ich die Kamera nicht dabei!

Das kleine Kind versinkt und ertrinkt.

?Na, wo war denn wieder der Rettungswagen? Das frag' ich Sie.??Ja, ja, Sie haben völlig recht. Man hätte es vermeiden können. Aber die sind ja immer zu langsam! Typisch.?

Man könnt' ja selber helfen, aber seien wir doch mal ehrlich!
Das ist für uns Gaffer viel zu gefährlich.
Hätte ich zum Hilfeleisten mich auf's Eis verirrt,
weiß ich, daß, wenn ich jetzt auch einbräch', mir keiner helfen würd'.

Ein Teufelskreis! Hör mein Geheiß: Begib dich nie auf dünnes Eis.

So mal jetzt ganz allgemein gesprochen, quasi als Metapher.

Ich bin ein Gaffer.
Für mich fast schon wie geschaffen als Beruf.
Ich bin ein Gaffer.
Ich hab' den Gaffer-Groove.

Bin neulich zufällig geraten an ?nen Selbstmordkandidaten.
Der stand auf einer Brücke, und ich konnt' es kaum erwarten.
Ich rief ihm zu: 'Spring schon!? - Er wirkte irritiert
sprang aber trotzdem. Ich hab's fotografiert.

Gaffen ist nicht nur ein spannender Sport,
nein, im Unglücksorttourismus halt' ich auch noch den Rekord:
Weil bei mir zu Hause kaum Katastrophen gescheh'n,
fahr' ich halt hin, wo welche sind, um sie mir live anzuseh'n.

Die richtigen Desaster, Infernos, Havarien
zieh'n mich magisch an, kann Ihnen nicht entflieh'n:

Bei ?nem Flugzeugabsturz oder beim Oderbruch,
oder bei ?ner Eisenbahnentgleisung, komm' ich zum Zug,
zum Beispiel beim ICE in Eschede fand
ich zum Gaffen ein Schlaraffenland.

Weil ich so sehr nach Sensationen gier',
kommt es auch mal vor, daß ich sie selber provozier'.
Der Vorteil: Ich bestimme den Geschehensort
und bin sofort immer als erster dort.

Zum Beispiel wußt' ich gleich, das wird ?ne kurze Tour,
als die Diana mit ihrem Scheich in den Tunnel fuhr.

Für Fotos von sowas zahlt man mir viel Geld,
weil das Gaffen offenbar nicht nur mir allein gefällt.
Denn worin wir uns beim Gaffen vom Affen unterscheiden,
ist, wie sehr wir uns am Leiden unserer Artgenossen weiden.

Doch immerhin
der Vorwurf vor diesen
die Augen zu verschließen,
kann bei mir nicht stimmen.
Ich gucke ja hin.

Thank you because you correct this lyrics
 

Leave a comment to the song

Biografia

Bodo Wartke is a German performer born in 1977. His discography includes Achillesverse, Ich Denke, Also Sing Ich (Unterwegs) Ich denke, also sing ich, Noah war ein Archetyp - Das erste Mal and Noah War Ein Archetyp.

Related artists

News from the music's world

Brian May of Queen and His Connection with NASA

25/09/2023

In the realm of rock 'n' roll, there are few names as iconic as Queen, and within the Queen pantheon, Brian May stands out not only as a legendary guitarist but also as an astrophysicist with a profound connection to NASA.

Hip-Hop Turns 50: Celebrating Half a Century of Cultural Influence

12/09/2023

Hip-hop, one of the most influential cultural movements of the 20th and 21st centuries, has recently reached a significant milestone - it's turning 50 years old.

Coachella here we are


Coachella Festival 2022: here we are. In two days the doors of one of the most anticipated musical events of the year will open, even more so after the last two years in which for very obvious reasons the live music sector has suffered a very important setback.

Grammy 2022: the winners

05/04/2022

The 2022 Grammy Awards were the chronicle of an announced triumph: Jon Baptiste collected 11 nominations and won 5 Grammys, defeating all opponents. This was also the year of the very young Olivia Rodrigo, who managed to take home 3 Grammys, including the the best new artist.

"We" - The new album of Arcade Fire

22/03/2022

Here is finally some good news, the Arcade Fire have finally revealed the title and release date of their new album, 5 years after the last one. For the fan of the group it has been a time that seemed eternal,

"I know you know me" the masterpiece of Caroline Spence and Matt Berninger


Do we want to define "I know you know me" a masterpiece? Yes, without a shadow of a doubt for at least two reasons. The first and most evident are the artists who interpret it: Caroline Spence and Matt Berninger, second for the deep and poetic text.

Fugees cancel their Reunion

26/01/2022

My favorite group when I was just a teenager were the Fugees, thanks to them a certain curiosity about english language was born in me. I wanted to know and understand the lyrics of their songs, it wasn't enough for me to be carried away exclusively by their beautiful music.

When I'm gone the single by Alesso and Katy Perry

30/12/2021

Sweden and the United States are two countries far from each other, thousands of kilometers separate them, the language, culinary and sporting traditions, I don't feel so categorical about the landscapes, not knowing all of America there may be states that have the same reliefs of the country of northern Europe, but on one thing I am sure

The long-awaited collaboration between Rosalia and Oneohtrix

20/05/2021

It has been talked about for almost 3 years, rumored and it is hoped that sooner or later they will arrive at a collaboration, and now we are satisfied: the Catalan singer Rosalia and the American musician Oneohtrix finally announce the publication of a piece together!

Paul McCartney ends up on stamps

07/05/2021

In England there are institutions that are untouchable, first of all Queen Elizabeth II who reigns undisputed in the beating heart of every Englishman, then there are the Beatles, and that's the reason why they were awarded the title of baronets.

Fatboy Slim and Blessed Madonna attended the Liverpool event

03/05/2021

Looking at the images, one immediately thinks of archive photos of at least a year and a half ago. Lots of people together without masks dancing freely

GodSpeed You! Black Emperor new record and new requests


How a music group can deliver strong and clear messages without singing is a mystery yet Canadians GoodSpeed You! Black Emperor they succeed very well.

What ties Tom Yorke and Jun Takahashi

30/03/2021

"Creep" by Radiohead is certainly one of the most listened to, revisited and reinterpreted songs in the history of music. So much loved and listened to on all six continents, at least once in our life we all found ourselves humming it.

Trouble ahead for rapper T.I. and his wife Tiny

19/03/2021

Very bad story for rapper T.I. and his wife Tiny, in fact, they have been accused of sexual abuse and kidnapping.

Lady Gaga and her stolen dogs

10/03/2021

The malefactor managed to take Koji and Gustavo away, while Miss Asia, the third bulldog, escaped and was found shortly after by Lady Gaga's bodyguards.

David Crosby against Phoebe Bridgers

16/02/2021

David Crosby against Phoebe Bridgers, if we had been in the Middle Ages, they probably would have challenged each other with the sword, while in 2021 they decided to go wild with tweets.

Evan Rachel Wood has denounced Marilyn Manson


Evan Rachel Wood, the beautiful protagonist of Westworld has decided to denounce the violence she has suffered for years, at least according to what she claims, by Marilyn Manson.

The Glastonbury Festival has been canceled

26/01/2021

After some positive signs in the past months, here is the news that we weren't hoping to learn and that throws new questions on the possibility of organizing festivals and live concerts for 2021.

The Kennedy center Honors award Joan Baez

20/01/2021

The winners of the 43rd edition of the Kennedy Center Honors have recently been announced, including Joan Baez, Dick Van Dyke, Debbie Allen and the violinist Midori.

The collaboration between Soundgarden and Brandi Carlile

12/01/2021

The band Soundgarden recently recorded two classics with Brandie Carlile. After the death of their leader Chris Cornell, the band had decided to stop for some time also as a sign of respect for the untimely death of their front man.

Foo Fighters announced the release of new album

05/01/2021

New year is synonymous of news and in fact 2021 opened with a nice surprise. The American rock group, The Foo Fighters, founded in 1994 by Dave Grohl ex drummer of Nirvana, delight us with the release of a new single entitled "No son of Mine".

Guitarist Tony Rice died at the age of 69

02/01/2021

He was 69 and on Christmas Day, guitarist Tony Rice, Bluegrass legend, passed away. His label, Rounder Records, made the news with an official release on December 26th.

Ten Cities: the culture of clubbing from Johannesburg to Naples

29/12/2020

We still talk about music, but today we do it from a different point of view, taking a cue from a book, a photographic book called Ten Cities.

1970, fifty years of Bob Dylan's song

22/12/2020

I was about 6 years old when I listened for the first time "Blowing in the wind" hummed by my mom while she was accompanying me to school, the version was the Italian one, but I liked the rhythm right away.