Erster Teil der Trilogie
Andante
Im Zimmer ist Mief,Die Türe hängt schief,Es zieht mörderisch durch's FensterUnd dann gibt's GespensterDie nachts hier tanzenUnd zahlreiche WanzenIn den zerschlissenen Betten.Die Tapete ist nicht mehr zu retten;Hat Risse schon an allen Enden,'s liegt allein an den schiefen Wänden.Drei Dielen liegen noch im Zimmer,Mit zwei'n wär's weitaus schlimmer.Dafür hat der Tisch nur zwei Beine,Na ja, besser als keine!
Oh, Du himmlisch gemütliche WohnstattFür achtzig D-Mark im Monat,Alles inklusiveAußer der Liebe.
Denn Damenbesuch ist bei mir nicht drin,Hier bestimmt eine keusche Vermieterin.Auf Ihr Wohl,Alte, fette Frau Pohl!
Zweiter Teil der Trilogie
Allegro assai
Also liebe Frau Pohl, dann komm' Se mal rein.Komm' Se nicht an den Tisch, der hat nur noch ein Bein!Sie meinen, es war einfach grauenvollWas hier gestern abend passiert sein soll'Sie sagen, ich hätte da drei Herren zu BesuchUnd aus meinem Zimmer drang Schnapsgeruch;Dann hätten wir was über Sie gesungen,Drauf hätt's wie zerschmetterte Möbel geklungen,Also ob Schränke zerbersten und Fenster zerschellen --Frau Pohl -- das kann ich mir gar nicht vorstellen!
Sie sagen, dann seien wir zu Ihnen gekommenUnd hätten uns erst richtig danebenbenommen.Sie sagen, Herr Ofen goß im DeliriumDrei Flaschen Korn ins Aquarium.Herr Schobert habe, ohne zu fragen,Die letzten Dielen aus meinem Zimmer getragenUnd habe damit, als es kühl ward zur Nacht,Ein Feuerchen auf Ihrem Teppich gemachtMit den Worten: "Ach, die Alte, die wird's schon erlauben!"Frau Pohl -- das kann ich gar nicht glauben!
Beim Abschied viel später im Morgengrau'nErlegte Herrn Wader den Gartenzaun,Und die anderen seien auch erst gewichen,Nachdem sie Ihre Katze grün angestrichen.Sie meinen, die Herren, die wären wohl nichtSo ganz der richtige Umgang für mich.Bei meinem Mietrückstand und bei dem SchadenSoll ich sie heute abend nicht schon wieder einladen!Na schön, ich will Ihnen nicht mehr böse sein,Ich lad' Sie auf ein Glas Alka-Seltzer ein.Auf Ihr Wohl,Hochverehrte Frau Pohl!
Dritter Teil der Trilogie
Allegro furioso
Es klopft an meine Tür um MitternachtDas hält meine Tür natülich nicht aus und zerkracht.Komm' Se rein, Frau Pohl, doch Vorsicht, bitte sehr,Hier gibt's nämlich jetzt gar keine Dielen mehr,Und man ist in diesen heiligen Halleneh' man sich's versieht, durch den Fußboden gefallen!
Was bringt mir die Ehre Ihrer Visite?Probier'n Sie's mal wieder wegen der Miete?Nein, wie Sie so von einem auf's andre Bein wanken,Ahne ich schon, Sie wollen sich bei mir bedanken,Dafür, daß meine drei Freunde und ichIn Ihrer Abwesenheit feinsäuberlichDen Flurschaden und das Kleinholz wegräumtenVon unserer Feier. Sie glaubten, Sie träumten,Als Sie die Betonmischmaschine fanden,Wo gestern noch Ihre Rosen standen.
Herr Wader hat sich so geniertUnd darum Ihr Wohnzimmer neu zementiertUnd zum Zeichen, wie sehr er die Bombe bedauert,Hat er gleich noch zwei Wände dazugemauert.Die machen jetzt aus Ihrem Wohnzimmer drei.Ein Tip unter Freunden: Vermieten Sie zwei!Der Schnaps im Aquarium ist neutralisiert,Ihr Fisch ist wieder nüchtern und nur wenig schimpfiert,Auch Ihre Katze können Sie jetzt wieder anfassen:Wir haben sie chemisch reinigen lassen.Aber um alles so schön zu gestalten,Mußten wir uns an Ihren Sparstrumpf halten.Doch nichts sollte Ihnen zu teuer seinFür so ein gemütliches Eigenheim.
Auf Ihr Wohl,Hochverehrte Frau Pohl!
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