Seit ich hier wohne, fahr' ich in der Regel
fast täglich mit der U-Bahn Richtung Tegel.
Tegel ist ja nun ein Stadtteil von Berlin, aber da wir heute Abend in Düsseldorf sind, könnte man das Lied auch wie folgt einleiten:
Ich muß heut mit der U-Bahn noch nach Pempelfort,
ich habe nämlich noch ein wenig Krempel dort.
Dadurch hab' ich kaum noch was in mein 'm Sparschwein,
denn drei Mark zwanzig kost' mich hier der Fahrschein.
Ich könnte ja mal schwarz fahr'n,
dann spar' ich den Betrag.
Doch das kostet, hab' ich Pech,
statt 3 Mark 20 sechzig Mark.
Egal, das eine Mal!
Was soll passier'n?
Die kontrollieren
heute dich ganz sicher nicht!
Also was zögerst du?
Ich trau mich nich'!
Ich trau mich nich'!
Was soll ich sagen? Ich bin Schwarzfahr-Drückeberger,
und mein Ärger wird darüber immer ärger.
Na ja, was soll's? Werd' ich halt arm, doch bleib' ich edel.
Da bemerk' ich, neben mir steht ein Mädel.
Was für eine Traumfrau!
Eine wie sie sah ich noch nie!
Ich schau sie an, doch kaum schaut
sie zurück, krieg' ich weiche Knie...
Geh ran, Mann! Sprich sie an!
Was soll passier'n?
Nix zu verlier'n!
So 'ne Schönheit
gibt's weit und breit
nicht zweimal!
Ich trau mich nich'!
Ich trau mich nich'!
Es ist ein Trauma, ich
trau mich nich'!
Oh nein! Jetzt steigt sie ein
in die U-Bahn gegenüber,
die in die verkehrte Richtung fährt!
Ich seh' sie wohl nie wieder.
Der U-Bahn-Schacht verschluckt die Bahn,
au revoir, mon amour fou!
Doch was ist das? Sie guckt mich an
und lächelt mir zu...
Wie dem auch sei, die Zeit heilt alle Wunden.
Jahre später hab' selbst ich 'ne Frau gefunden.
Und auf einmal steh' ich eh' ich mich versehe,
mit jener Frau halt da vor'm Traualtar zwecks Ehe.
Der Pfarrer fragt: ?Willst du
diese hier zum Weibe,
sie ehren und begehren,
bis daß der Tod euch scheide??
Was? So lange?
Na Mann, das kann ja dauern!
Äh, ich schau dann mir
lieber die Frau
nochmal kurz genau an...
Ich trau' mich nich'!
Ich trau mich nich' mich zu trauen.
Ich trau mich nich',
vor allem bei und mit Frauen.
So kann's nicht weitergehen!
Ich bin ein völlig feiger Wurm!
Ich komm' damit nicht mehr klar!
Ich stürz' mich vom Fernsehturm!
Jetzt steh' ich hier, tief unter mir
klafft der eklatante
Abgrund. Steil geht's runter hier!
Ich wanke bis zur Kante...
So, meine Damen und Herren, das Lied hat jetzt noch genau eine Strophe. Das ist die Schlimmste von allen. Ich weiß ja nicht, soll ich die wirklich vorsingen heute Abend?
Ich trau mich nich'!
Ich trau mich nich'!
Tut mir leid!
Ich trau mich nich'!
Zumindest nicht zur Zeit...
Aber vielleicht nächstes Mal.
Bodo Wartke is a German performer born in 1977. His discography includes Achillesverse, Ich Denke, Also Sing Ich (Unterwegs) Ich denke, also sing ich, Noah war ein Archetyp - Das erste Mal and Noah War Ein Archetyp.
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