Nicolas Bacchus

Lyrics Les voleurs d'ivoire Nicolas Bacchus

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Les voleurs d'ivoire


Connaissez-vous l'histoire
De ce petit gangster
Qui s'appelait Édouard,
N'avait ni père ni mère,
Lisait des Série Noire
Et draguait la postière ?

Il berçait des milliards
Brillant sous ses paupières
Et pour manger et boire
Passait la serpillière
Et frottait les crachoirs
D'un bar-tabac désert

Et pourtant, tous les soirs
Dans un musée d'Anvers
Convoitant les ivoires
Qui prenaient la poussière
Il rêvait du grand soir
Le nez collé au verre

Mais ne sachant que faire
Pour pas finir taulard
Il va voir sa grand'mère
Qui lui dit "Si ça foire,
Tu es bon pour les fers
Et moi pour le mouroir !
Alors, écoute-moi bien, mon petit

Pour pas se faire avoir
Faut jouer les faussaires
Monter un canular
À effet somnifère
Quand ils s'ront dans l' brouillard
On passe par derrière"

Ayant besoin d'une star
Pour piéger l'adversaire
Elle ajoute aux pillards
La pimpante postière
Qui répond, c'est notoire
Au doux nom de Xavière
Xavière

Pour mettre sur les nerfs
Les flics et les Beaux-Arts
Elle passe par les commères
Pour ébruiter l' traqu'nard
Puis envoie la postière
Quand tout paraît peinard

Au milieu des Renoir,
La rouquine incendiaire
Ripe sur son foulard
Et, en tombant par terre,
Décroche une œuvre d'art
Et finit jambes en l'air

L'alarme joue du Mahler
Panique dans les couloirs
Pour secourir Xavière
La vieille et son Édouard
En pompier et pompière
Passent par les objets d'art

Entre les gyrophares
Le fiston, la grand'mère,
À deux doigts d'être hilares,
Jouent les hôtesses de l'air
Emportant les ivoires
Planqués dans la civière
Pin pon

À ce moment d' l'histoire
Apparaît l'commissaire
Qui mâchouille un cigare
Au volant d' sa Rover
Il croit pas au hasard
C'est dire s'il a du flair

Mais les flics sont veinards
Ils remontent la filière
Édouard, sur le trottoir,
A perdu son lance-pierres
Un petit peu plus tard
Ils coffrent la postière

L'incroyable grand'mère,
Pour stopper les déboires,
Trottine au Ministère
En tailleur léopard
Fait dessaisir l'affaire
Oh ! Il suffit d'y croire !

Dans les jolies histoires
Les policiers amers
Finissent dans un bar
À commander des bières,
Les tout petits loubards
Épousent les postières
Et les mamies anar
S'envoient les commissaires

Les tout petits loubards
Épousent les postières
Et les mamies anar
S'envoient les commissaires

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Biografia

Nicolas Bacchus is a performer. His discography includes Balades pour enfants louches, À table (chansons bleues ou à poing) and Coupe d'immondes.

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