Lyrics Lisa's father Alice Donut

Lisa's father

Hey! I'd like to tell you a story about something
that happened to me.

I was sitting at home just the other day
watching some TV, when there's a knock on my door.
And I went to the door to see who it was, and
it was a woman with no eyes.
And she had a stackfull of comic books.
And she gave me one and then she said:
"Take it and read!"
And I took it, and I did read. And the story was
so moving and compelling that I had to write a
song about it.
It wasn't one of your regular comic books,
rather it was one of those check publications out of
California, one of those comic books that's
meant to convert you to fundamental christianity.

And it was a story about a family.
And the father's name was ... his name was Lisa's father. (Lisa's father)
And the mother's name was ... her name was Lisa's mother. (Lisa's mother)
And then there was a child, a five year old child,
named Lisa.Lisa, pure as the driven snow.
But she was driven in other ways as well, I'll
tell you about that later.
Lisa's mother was an alcoholic.
She used to sit and knock back JD from 8 o'clock
in the morning 'til she passed out at midnight.
Lisa's father however, he was a sinner of another sort.
He was a sinner of a different colour, if you know what
I'm talking about.
He was a kind of a man,
a kind of a man who didn't keep his sinning to himself.
'Cos he was a child-molester.
This was a man who abused his little daughter Lisa.
Every night. Every afternoon. Every morning
As soon as Lisa's mother was blacked out on JD -
he'd go up into Lisa's bedroom.
And he'd start whaling away on this poor little kid,
makin' that sound:

Oh waka waka waka baby baby baby -
havin' a good time
Yeah - yeah.

One day he was up there, doing what he once did to
that poor little girl.
When there was a knock on his frontdoor.
He tucked in his shirt, pulled up his pants and he ran down,
Aswered the door as quick as he could,
and he said:
- Yo! Who's there?
- Hey, this is Bill your neighbour!
- Oh! Hey, how're you doing?
- Hi, Lisa's father!
- How's the weather?
"Oh, the weather is fine and I know what
you've been doing with Lisa."

"But you'd got to let me do it too,
if you don't want me to turn you in!"
And Lisa's father said:
"Wow, I'm in the soup now!
What am I gonna do?
I gotta let him do it to Lisa or
he'll turn me in to the police!
Okay! You can do it!
You can do it too!"
So that's what happened.
Upstairs the two of them went.
And from that day on they both were doing it
to poor little Lisa.

One day the mother dried up just long enough to take that kid to the doctor.
The doctor took one look at this kid, and do you know what that doctor said?
"Your daughter has a venerial disease!"
And that mother, she put two and two together mighty
fast, I'll tell you.
She knew what was going on up there.
And she grabbed that kid - she started running home.
She ran home as fast as she could.
And she ran and she pointed a finger at Lisa's father.
And she said:
"You repulsive little shit!
I hate you! I hate you!"
And Lisa's father said:
"Wow! Wow, I'm in the soup now!
She knows what I've been doing to Lisa!"
He ran!
He ran out that door as fast as he could!
He started to make his way down to the bridge,
just like James Stewart in It's a Wonderful Life.
He was going to throw himself off that bridge.
And just then, a woman with no eyes and a handfull of comic books,
walks up to him and gave him a comic book.
Just like the woman in my ...
And she gave him a comic book and she said:
"Just pray!"
Just pray, is what she said.

15 minutes later:

And he said:
"Wow! I feel excellent!!
I'm gonna go home and tell Lisa's mother about
this praying stuff."
And he ran home, and he said:
"Hey, Lisa's mother. Listen to this!"
And she said:
"I hate you! I hate you! you repulsive little..."
And he said:
"Oh shut up you old cow!
Listen to this:
Get up and pray!!"

15 minutes later.

She says, she says:
"I feel great!"
And Lisa's father says:
"Let's call Lisa in and tell her
what's happenin' around here!"
They call in Lisa.
And Lisa is a little scared you can understand
They say:
"Hey Lisa. We've got some good news for you! We're never gonna hurt you,
never gonna hurt you anymore."

And Lisa says, Lisa says:

"oh really?"