Pace, Bigazzi, Savio
Nessuno mi conosce qui a Sofia:
sono un prete venuto a mettere pace tra le spie,
per cercare di farli far? no, ho sbagliato il vocabolo?
farle far? fargli? perché la spia non ha? non ha sesso?
farlate far pace, a questi spioni che si spiano,
uno spia uno, un altro spia un altro,
sperperando una massa impressionante di denaro.
Sono Don Bairo, degli Scappellati di Viareggio,
ho 'nfrontato un viaggio pieno di? di felidi,
da qui al mar del Caspio. Eccheccaspio!?
Ho affrontato alcuni problemi di carattere generale:
primo, non avevo la macchina; secondo, non avevo il dito per fare l'autostop,
perché sono monco. E allora l'ho fatto col braccio,
si è fermato solo un camionista, tale?
un russo, Budroski Balmiro, una panza di vermo grandissimo,
grosso, alto, biondo e senza gambe. Come lo guidava questo camion?
Eravamo due storpi e una chitarra, e andavamo verso? il?
Come si dice quando si passa la frontiera? La corteccia di ferro.
E arrivammo. Due Vopos, le guardie svizzere? no, le guardie rumene?
Le guardie rosse, ci chiesero i documenti.
A me mi è uscito un rotolo di carta igienica, al camionista neanche quello,
ma dietro al camion c'era una sorpresa: uscì u? un piccolo nano infortunato,
senza capelli, assomigliava stranamente a Cesare Ragazzi,
ma dopo sette chilometri avemmo il primo incidente,
si schiattarono contemporaneamente sei ruote su qui?ndici,
perché era un long vai-col. Lo voglio dire in inglese perché ho studiato alla? alla Sorbona.
Il poliziotto che ci fermò aveva tre denti cariati e uno sano,
senza lingua, parlava a gesti, ci fece un 4 4 4 8 7 2, che sembrava il numero di telefono
di una mia zia in colonia a Riccione, senza tenda, prezzo settemilaecinquecento lire
con brioche alla mattina, senza colazione, con un po' di sabbia in un bicchiere,
sole ustionato lo vendevano a duemila lire il chilo, e mille lire uno sternuto.
Avanti avanti avanti avanti il poliziotto cercò di scambiare il nano,
che ormai era ghiacciato, il famoso Nano Ghiacciato,
con una spia che avevamo perduto dietro una ruota di scorta.
Allora io sono stato fermo e? garenatomi dietro la mia tonaca dissi:
Spia si nasce, non si cresce.
E lui disse: Piacere, pesce.
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