Cartman: Can I have your attention please?
Can I have your attention please?
Will the real slim shady please kiss my motherf*ckin a%$ ?
I repeat: will the real slim shady please kiss my mother f*ckin a%$?
Thank you
Stan: Yo, you act like you're the only white person that can rhyme
I tie both hands behind my spine and still beat you like you committed a crime
In matter fact you did, aint you just get arrested cause your wife was in a club with some dude bein' molested?
Kyle: Yo, I aint trying playa hate
Hey you ain't no playa
Walkin with an unloaded gun
Talking about I'm gonna spray ya
I'm a real rhyme sayer with some years on ya
You know you really want Britney Spears rib on ya
Stan: You couldn't handle that body
She's a dance
One look at your small d*ck
She'd be like "is that your final answer?"
Cartman: Regis Filman might have to fill in
While I'm still in camp
For every spin up on my jungle gym
Stan: No offense to Detroit
But I'm from New York Where we talk the talk and where we walk the walk
And after dark you're gone
And you've been warned we strong
So when I drop the bomb
From Long Island it's on
Kyle: So the next time when you're in NYC
Leavin MTV
No it's not VET
Come see me
Put all that money up where your mouth is
Unless you spent it all on your commissary account, kid
Stan: I'm still gonna see ya
After your court day
You know the one where they figure out your child support rate
You might be a raise
But remember I aint caged
I'm under-aged
And you're not the only one that's crazed
Kyle: So leave your Dr. Dre's
And your empty A-K's
Bring your microphone and your pale face
Bring your daughter
Be prepared when she asks, "Yo dada, why you let that man out rap your a%$?"
Stan: Yo slim shady
Yea, you the real shady
But your married wife
Acting like she still a single lady
So the real slim shady needs to shut the f*ck up
Cause the last I'd heard you had got locked up
Kyle: So to slim shady
This once for you baby
There's still cats on the mic that can
Out rap you daily
The real slim shady take back your platinum
Placks And shove them up your flat platinum a$$
Kenny: Y'all act like youve never heard a whack person before
ryhmes a bore,14 minutes are up so i got one more
i had to come back so now im worse than before
ill make you snore because my tired song is boring you
its the return of the
Kyle: oh wait hold on dont try that
you heard what he sounds like are you really going to buy that
Kenny: and dr dre does everything you idiot how would i sound if dre didnt lay the beats down
Kyle and Kenny: The world has had enough,
Cartman: Eminem sounding like a 12 year-old girl on helium,
Look at him! Walking around trying to kiss Dre's a$$,
Trying to impress you. "He's so weak, though."
Kyle: I put Christina on blast on my new CD,
cause I tried to hit on her and she rejected me,
Stan: Sometimes I wanna jump on the stage and just let loose,
But I can't cause I sound like the squirrel on Bulwinkle the Moose
Four Boys: This song gets your nerves, this song gets on your nerves,
Kenny: I know I'm lucky cause I got more fame than I deserve,
And that's the message that I try to give to little kids,
You can be famous and never know what talent is
Four Boys: I'm Slim Shady, and yes, I'm real grating,
I talk like Peter Brady, and it's irritating,
I know you're saying Slim Shady please shut up,
please shut up, please shut up
well I'm Slim Shady, and yes, I'm real grating,
I talk like Peter Brady, and it's irritating,
I know you're saying Slim Shady please shut up,
please shut up, please shut up
Kyle: Of course they're gonna like me, cause I'm like a cartoon
version of Ricky Schroeder when he was on 'Silver Spoons'
Cartman: I ain't nothin' but a product, packaged to be bought up,
You know a year from now I won't be thought of,
Kenny: But I write about dead animals and cannibals,
cause that'll shock people and sell records... man, I hope
Stan: So if I can be ridiculous and talent less,
I guess no one is hopeless, look how bad this song is!
Kenny: Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
Kyle: Well I do, so f*ck him and f*ck you too!
Stan: You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
Cartman: "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Kenny: Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears? Sh*t, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
Kyle: So I can sit next to Corey Taylor and Jim Root
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
Kenny: Little b*tch put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
Kyle: I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD {*ARRRGGGGHHH!*}
Kenny: I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}
Stan: And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who JUST DON'T GIVE A F*CK like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
Four Boys: I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
Cuz I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
Kyle: I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin' you
Things you joke about wit ya friends inside your livin' room
Kenny: The only difference is I got the b*lls to say it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
Kyle: I just get on the mike and spit it
And whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I just shittin'
Betta than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Stan: Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
Kenny: It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin' when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin' home flirting
Pinchin' nurses a$$es when I'm jackin' off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of V***** isn't workin'
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin'
He could be workin' at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
{*HACH*} Or in the parkin' lot, circlin'
Screamin', "I DON'T GIVE A F*CK!"
Wit his windows down and his system up
Kyle: So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
Four Boys: I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
Cuz I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
Cuz I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
Cuz I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
Kenny: Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
F*ck it, let's all stand up
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