Reinhard Mey

Lyrics Was kann schöner sein auf erden, als politiker zu werden? Reinhard Mey

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Was kann schöner sein auf erden, als politiker zu werden?


Weil man mich zu Recht für einen Trottel hält,
Weil man mir die Mannequin-Karriere verstellt,
Weil das Mambotanzen sich nun auch nicht mehr lohnt,
Weil auf dem Mambokönigthron bereits ein anderer thront,
Weil ich pleite, faul, gefräßig bin, entscheide ich prompt,
Daß für mich nur ein erholsamer Beruf in Frage kommt.
So komm? ich um die Erkenntnis nicht umhin,
Daß ich wohl zum Staatsmann geboren bin,
Denn wie sagte doch beim Vorbild Fred Kasulzke einmal
Nach seinem elften dicken Immobilienskandal:
Wer die Noten liebt, der mache Musik,
Doch wer die Banknoten liebt, der mache Politik.

Was kann schöner sein auf Erden
Als Politiker zu werden.
Vom Überfluß der Diäten
Platzen dir die Taschen aus den Nähten.
Du kannst dir auf leisen Sohlen
Dein Schäfchen ins Trock?ne holen.
Prost! Es lebe die Partei!
Frisch und fromm und steuerfrei!

Etwas Anständiges hab? ich Gott sei Dank nicht gelernt,
Hielt mich stets vom rechten Pfad der Tugend entfernt,
Und so steht, wenn ich mir meine Fähigkeiten überleg?,
Einer Laufbahn als Politiker schon gar nichts mehr im Weg.
Außerdem hab? ich noch ein paar Trümpfe auf der Hand.
Mir sind von ?nem Minister ein paar Dinge bekannt,
Durch Kasulzkes Immobilien-Firma ist er mir vertraut,
Denn der hat dessen Maitresse einen Swimmingpool gebaut,
Und zum Dank und dafür, daß die Frau Minister nichts erfährt,
Hat er ihm den Auftrag für eine Sozialsiedlung beschert.
Dabei fiel für den Minister noch ein Bungalow mit an,
Und Kasulzke baut noch achtzig Kilometer Autobahn.

Der Minister, der sich während jeder Sitzung schlafend stellt,
Tut als ob er, wie die andern, nur sein Mittagsschläfchen hält,
Hat dabei die Ohren offen und verdingt sich als Spion
Bei der Rechten, bei der Linken, bei der Opposition.
Dieses Wissen bringt mir mehr als ein Hochschulstudium ein
Und beschleunigt die Beamtenlaufbahn ungemein.
Wenn dem Mann an seinem Amt liegt, und es lieg ihm sehr daran,
Dann versteht er, daß er auf mich nicht verzichten kann.
Wenn ich dann die schwere Bürde meines hohen Amtes trag?,
Dann erlaub? ich mir den ersten Beratervertrag,
Kassier? von jedem Rüstungsauftrag Provision
Und beginn? eine Kampagne gegen Korruption.

Früher hatte ich vor Wahlen noch Gewissensqualen,
Heute wähl? ich die, die am meisten dafür zahlen.
Und geht irgendwann die Fraktion baden dabei,
Dann hör? ich auf mein Gewissen und wechsle die Partei.
Unter meinesgleichen habe ich mich bestens bewährt,
Darum wird mir nächstens das Verdienstkreuz beschert,
Und ich werd? vom Papst empfangen, geadelt und geehrt,
Nach der alten Devise: Wer gut schmiert, der gut fährt.
Die Zukunft seh? ich rosig, die Kollegen schweigen still,
Weil von denen keiner vor den Untersuchungsausschuß will.
Und platzt der ganze Schwindel eines Tages, na wenn schon,
Dann geh? ich krankheitshalber vorzeitig in Pension.

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