Este es mi mensaje en la botella,
Al fin te puedo lanzar.
Que lo iluminen las estrellas,
Que navegue en el mar.
Quise esconderme y ahogarme en ella,
Hundirme en la barra de un bar,
Pero las penas saben nadar.
Menudo par de idiotas.
Guardián de mis anécdotas,
Guardián en el sentido más estricto:
Cerraste con cadenas al adicto,
Convertido en convicto,
El alma rota y en permanente conflicto.
¿Te cojo o te dejo?
¿Te cojo? Y me matas.
¿Te dejo? Y ando cojo, me falta una de mis patas.
¿Te dejo? Y se me acercan un millar de ratas
Profesando miedo.
¿Te cojo? Y me maltratas,
Me sometes me humillas,
Me cargas con la culpa y la vergüenza
Si comienza en cada sorbo tu castigo.
Me estorbo, no me reconozco si miro el espejo, Por eso es que te alejo,
Te dejo porque tú puedes conmigo.
Llegaste como por arte de magia,
Capaz de relajarme y aplacando la nostalgia,
Será porque tu chispa se contagia,
Será que me cegaste y no vi sangre ni hemorragia,
Pero caía a chorros.
Tus besos, los porros,
Apenas un cachorro pero ya hecho unos zorros.
Me hiciste agrandarme, un gigante
En huida hacia adelante, constante,
Te borro por todo lo que me ahorro
Sin que estés a mi lado.
Lastre en un lago de azufre,
Dulce, en el desastre
Me atrapaste y todo mi alma sufre
Las consecuencias: por dentro ando muerto,
Kilómetros de tus olas me arrasaron y dejaron un desierto
Tras de sí, detrás de mí.
?Querrás morir', me dijo:
?Pintaré colores en tu cielo y te daré cobijo.
Seré yo el padre tú serás el hijo.
Me pagarás con sangre haré que cargues en tus hombros este crucifijo'
Y fui poema escrito en verso ruin,
Deambulando como muerte sin fin
Entre sexo y carmín,
Sábanas de satín,
Y mujeres llenas de vacíos huecos con olor a jazmín.
Mintiéndome en promesas del Jardín del Edén,
Me dijo: ?Va a salir bien,
Será un santiamén'
Pero ni tan siquiera fuiste agradecida,
Siempre quisiste torturarme, nunca quitarme la vida.
Que ya no quiero nada de ti,
Lejos de aquí, pasa de mí.
Ni te acerques que te veo venir.
Ni tan siquiera el cielo sabe lo que tú me has hecho sufrir,
Y viví en el infierno desde que te conocí. (x2)
Tan cerca que vuelvas
Como estirar mi brazo,
Si apenas te rozo,
Doy un bandazo hacia un calabozo
Lleno de arenas...
Movedizas,
Que se tragan el sollozo de vivir con tus secuelas:
Rodeado por las penas,
Incapaz de promulgar con el ejemplo
Y con el miedo a que me pasen cosas buenas.
¿Acaso hay algo más terrible?
¿Fracaso al rendirme?
Lograste aborrecerme,
Cansado de vivir con este hombre
Que soy yo.
¿Quién soy yo?
Un fruto del egoísmo,
¿Cómo habré podido amar si nunca me quise a mí mismo?
¿Las veces que he dicho te quiero
Ha habido alguno verdadero?
¿He sido compañero o el Barquero?
Me dejas con el frío de enero
Del hielo en mis pupilas,
Siendo forastero sin armas entre mis propias filas.
No vacilas en picar a mi puerta
A cada segundo,
Sigilosa y esperando el momento a ver si sucumbo
Y es un no rotundo.
Pero no cedes, me quieres para ti,
Hueles mis fisuras,
Me vendes que todo es gratis
Pero sé de tus facturas
Y de cómo te las cobras:
Me pondrás una armadura
Y de mi dignidad las sobras.
Sé de tus maniobras, sí me he divertido,
Lograste moldearme como habías querido.
Podrás susurrarme al oído de tu reflejo pero sé el castigo;
Te dejo porque tú puedes conmigo.
Que ya no quiero nada de ti,
Lejos de aquí, pasa de mí.
Ni te acerques que te veo venir.
Ni tan siquiera el cielo sabe lo que tú me has hecho sufrir,
Y viví en el infierno desde que te conocí. (x2)
Condenados a vivir juntos,
Unidos para siempre.
Seguiré echándote a dormir
Y cada vez me haré más fuerte.
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