Ara mateix enfilo aquesta agulla
amb el fil d'un propòsit que no dic
i em poso a apedaçar. Cap dels prodigis
que anunciaven taumaturgs insignes no s'ha complert,
i els anys passen de pressa.
De res a poc, i sempre amb vent de cara,
quin llarg camí d'angoixa i de silencis.
I som on som; més val saber-ho i dir-ho
i assentar els peus en terra i proclamar-nos
hereus d'un temps de dubtes i renúncies
en què els sorolls ofeguen les paraules
i amb molts miralls mig estrafem la vida.
De res no ens val l'enyor o la complanta,
ni el toc de displicent malenconia que ens
posem per jersei o per corbata quan sortim al carrer.
Tenim a penes el que tenim i prou:
l'espai d'història concreta que ens pertoca,
i un minúscul territori per viure-la.
Posem-nos dempeus altre vegada
i que se senti la veu de tots solemnement i clara.
Cridem qui som i que tothom ho escolti.
I en acabat, que cadascú es vesteixi com bonament li plagui,
i via fora!, que tot està per fer i tot és possible.
Pensem-la clara aquesta quietud
que escampa tants de ressons impensats;
pensem-la clara i suggerent, que ens ompli
l'espai concret d'ara mateix, l'espai
en què no hi ha cap mena de sorpresa
i tot és vell, i trist, i necessari.
Vam girar full temps ha, i alguns s'entesten
a llegir encara la mateixa plana.
Potser el secret és que no hi ha secret
i aquest camí l'hem fet tantes vegades
que ja ningú no se'n sorprèn; potser
caldria que trenquéssim la rutina
fent algún gest desmesurat, alguna
sublimitat que capgirés la història.
Potser, també, del poc que tenim ara
no sabem fer-ne l'ús que cal; qui sap!
Molt lentament giravolta la sínia
i passen anys, o segles, fins que l'aigua
s'enfila al cim més alt i, gloriosa,
proclama la claror per tots els àmbits.
Molt lentament davallen aleshores
els catúfols per recollir més aigua.
Així s'escriu la història. Saber-ho
no pot sobtar ni decebre ningú.
Massa sovint girem els ulls enrera
i el gest traeix angoixa i defallences.
L'enyor, voraç, ens xucla la mirada
i ens gela el moll del sentiment. De totes
les solituds, aquesta és la més fosca,
la més feroç, i persistent, i amarga.
Convé saber-ho i convé, d'altra banda,
pensar el futur lluminós i possible.
Qui sinó tots -i cadascú per torna-
podem crear des d'aquests límits d'ara
l'àmbit de llum on tots els vents s'exaltin,
l'espai de vent on tota veu ressoni?
Públicament ens compromet la vida;
públicament i amb tota llei d'indicis.
Serem allò que vulguem ser. Debades
fugim del foc si el foc ens justifica.
Ni llocs ni noms ni espai suficient
per replantar l'arbreda, ni cap riu
que remunti el seu curs i ens alci el cos
per damunt de l'oblit. Tots sabem bé
que no hi ha camp obert per cap retorn
ni solc en mar a l'hora del perill.
Posem senyals de pedra pels camins,
senyals concrets, de fonda plenitud.
Compartirem misteris i desigs
d'arrel molt noble i secreta, en l'espai
de temps que algú permetrà que visquem.
Compartirem projectes i neguits,
plaers i dols amb dignitat extrema,
l'aigua i la set, l'amor i el desamor.
Tot això junt, i més, ha de donar-nos
l'aplom secret, la claredat volguda.
En clau de temps i amb molt de patiment.
Vet ací com podem guanyar el combat
que de fa tant de temps lliurem, intrèpids.
En clau de temps i potser en solitud,
acumulant en cadascú la força
de tots plegats i projectant-la enfora.
Solc rera solc pel mar de cada dia,
pas rera pas amb voluntat d'aurora.
Ni cap llevant luxuriós, ni cap
ponent solemne. Més ens val saber
que no hi ha grans misteris, ni un ocell
d'ales immenses que ens empari; res
d'alló que tants de cops han proclamat
amb veu mesella foscos endevins.
Posem la mà damunt la mà i els anys
conferiran duresa a cada gest.
Vam preservar del vent i de l'oblit
la integritat d'uns àmbits, d'uns projectes
en què ens vèiem tots junts creixer i combatre.
I ara, quin fosc refús, quina peresa
malmet l'impuls de renovada fúria
que ens feia quasi delejar la lluita?
Del fons dels anys ens crida, barbullent,
la llum d'un temps expectant i frondós.
Convertirem els silencis en or
i els mots en foc. La pell d'aquest retorn
acumula la pluja, i els afanys
esborren privilegis. Lentament
emergim del gran pou, heures amunt,
i no pas a recer de cap malastre.
Convertirem el vell dolor en amor
i el llegarem, solemnes, a la història.
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