Il s'appelait Hugues, il était pas moche
Pas trop con non plus, y vivait tout seul
Il avait pas la langue dans sa poche
Sinon c'est sa poche qu'aurait pué d' la gueule
L'avait en effet un problème sévère
Qui depuis tout p'tit lui causait souci
Il avait l'haleine d'un vieux camembert
Le souffle violent d'un printemps pourri
Comme un gars qu'aurait bouffé du vautour
Roulé des galoches à un troupeau d'hyènes
Y r'foulait du goulot comme si d'puis toujours
L'avait embrassé les idées d' Le Pen
Ca schlinguait un peu comme une morgue en grève
Comme un sac poubelle longtemps oublié
Comme un poisson mort échoué sur la grève
Comme une charogne au fond d'un fossé
Chanson dégueulasse mais chanson profonde
Chanson un peu crasse comme le monde
Il aimait Julie et la Julie donc
L'aimait en retour, elle qui jamais
N'avait pu conquir le coeur de quiconque
Accepta l'amour que le Hugues offrait
La jolie Julie avait elle aussi
Un problème grave, majeur et sérieux
Qui depuis petite lui causait souci
Elle puait des pieds - d'un seul ? non, des deux
Comme quelqu'un qu'aurait marché dans la tête
A Ducon-Pauwels ou à B.H.L.
Comme quelqu'un qu'aurait taillé ses chausettes
Dans un vieux Libé aux pages culturelles
Ca schlinguait le vestiaire du Parc des Princes
Comme un chien mouillé mort depuis huit jours
Comme un barbecue dimanche en province
Comme un maillot jaune à l'arrivée du tour
Chanson dégueulasse mais chanson jolie
Chanson un peu crasse comme la vie
Tous les deux s'affairent le soir de leurs noces
A se nettoyer ratiches et arpions
Lui frotte ses dents 'vec un balai brosse
Les rince au gas-oil, mange du savon
Elle s'est enfermée dans la salle de bains
Se nettoie les pieds au fer à souder
Y verse dessus les plus doux parfums
Shalimar, Opium et Ajax W.C.
Arrivés au lit, malgré leurs efforts
L'odeur est immonde, prenante, torride
Suffocante en diable, débandante à mort
Leur premier amour risque d'être un bide
Il lui dit : Chérie, je dois t'avouer
Mon drame impossible, ma douleur secrète
Elle lui dit : T'inquiète, je l'ai deviné
Mon amour tu as bouffé mes chaussettes
Chanson dégueulasse mais chanson d'amour
Chanson un peu crasse comme l'amour
(bis)
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