"Weird Al" Yankovic

Lyrics Couch potato "Weird Al" Yankovic

 516

Couch potato


Look
If you had
One shot
To sit on your lazy butt
And watch all the TV you ever wanted
Until your brain turned to mush
Would you go for it?
Or just let it slip?
Yo

Remote is ready
Eyes wide, palms are sweaty
There's Flintstones on the TV already
Wilma 'n' Betty
No virgin to channel surfin'
And I'm HD-ready
So I flip
Garbage is all I'm getting

There's Simon Cowell
Who folks wanna disembowel
He opens his mouth
Always says something foul
They're dyin', wow
Wannabes are crying now
He votes them out
Time to throw in the towel

Shows based on reality
Oh, the humanity!
Oh, Ozzy's family
Sho' loves profanity
Whoa, the insanity
Oh, dogs that crap and pee
Home of depravity?
No, they live happily
Yo

Plus "Da Ali G Show"
And "Celebrity Mole"
Oh, and there's Anna Nicole
Well, she's scaring me

"Look ma, no cavities"
Oh, it's a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime (yo)

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV"
They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off those music videos" (no)
I'm gonna watch C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime (yo)
(You're gonna)

My butt is aching
As I watch NASCAR racing
That show about undertaking
Larry King
To "24" to "Law And Order"
The Weather Channel's boring like "60 Minutes"'s ancient reporters
Next up on "E! True Hollywood Story"
The rise and decline of twelve actors named Corey

Shows for next fall, they've already been namin'
"CSI: Boise" and "Touched By An Uncle" both sound pretty lame 'n'
So does "Everybody Tolerates Raymond"
And "King of Queens" jumped the shark the first minute
I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it

I'll move right on to "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenaged Daughter"
Then I bet
I watch "The Bachelorette"
Followed by "Welcome Back, Kotter"
And "The Muppet Show" where they go 'Mahna Mahna'

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Disney Channel and A&E and Lifetime (yo)

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, cajoled me
But I still love Lisa Kudrow (drow)
I'm looking at C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime (yo)
(You're Gonna)

Never missed "Melrose Place" or "Lost In Space"
I've seen each "Amazing Race" and "Without A Trace"
But I only watched "Will And Grace" one time one day
Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay

Oh, and "Fear Factor" I watched maybe a half hour
After that, felt like I needed a long shower
Network execs with naked ambitions
"Next week on FOX, watch lions eat Christians"

Like to tie up those programming planners
Make 'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like "Scanners"
Leech-covered grub-eatin' fools on "Survivor"
Look there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob Schneider

And there's "Gilligan" and "SpongeBob", plus there's "MacGyver"
And Jay Leno has got Madonna, hey there's Luke Perry on a
Special all Pig-Latin episode of "Drew Carey"

Wanna turn on "E.T." 'cause I'm a gossip freak
And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week
A 30 second spot
Then we come back to "Are You Hot?"
I was planning on recording "The Sopranos"
I forgot

I love shows with or without a plot
I'll stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot
Because I only have got
One brain to rot
I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime (yo)

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show" (no)
I got it on C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime (yo)
(You're gonna)

You can watch anything you want to, man

Thank you because you correct this lyrics
 

Leave a comment to the song

Related artists

News from the music's world

Brian May of Queen and His Connection with NASA

25/09/2023

In the realm of rock 'n' roll, there are few names as iconic as Queen, and within the Queen pantheon, Brian May stands out not only as a legendary guitarist but also as an astrophysicist with a profound connection to NASA.

Hip-Hop Turns 50: Celebrating Half a Century of Cultural Influence

12/09/2023

Hip-hop, one of the most influential cultural movements of the 20th and 21st centuries, has recently reached a significant milestone - it's turning 50 years old.

Coachella here we are


Coachella Festival 2022: here we are. In two days the doors of one of the most anticipated musical events of the year will open, even more so after the last two years in which for very obvious reasons the live music sector has suffered a very important setback.

Grammy 2022: the winners

05/04/2022

The 2022 Grammy Awards were the chronicle of an announced triumph: Jon Baptiste collected 11 nominations and won 5 Grammys, defeating all opponents. This was also the year of the very young Olivia Rodrigo, who managed to take home 3 Grammys, including the the best new artist.

"We" - The new album of Arcade Fire

22/03/2022

Here is finally some good news, the Arcade Fire have finally revealed the title and release date of their new album, 5 years after the last one. For the fan of the group it has been a time that seemed eternal,

"I know you know me" the masterpiece of Caroline Spence and Matt Berninger


Do we want to define "I know you know me" a masterpiece? Yes, without a shadow of a doubt for at least two reasons. The first and most evident are the artists who interpret it: Caroline Spence and Matt Berninger, second for the deep and poetic text.

Fugees cancel their Reunion

26/01/2022

My favorite group when I was just a teenager were the Fugees, thanks to them a certain curiosity about english language was born in me. I wanted to know and understand the lyrics of their songs, it wasn't enough for me to be carried away exclusively by their beautiful music.

When I'm gone the single by Alesso and Katy Perry

30/12/2021

Sweden and the United States are two countries far from each other, thousands of kilometers separate them, the language, culinary and sporting traditions, I don't feel so categorical about the landscapes, not knowing all of America there may be states that have the same reliefs of the country of northern Europe, but on one thing I am sure

The long-awaited collaboration between Rosalia and Oneohtrix

20/05/2021

It has been talked about for almost 3 years, rumored and it is hoped that sooner or later they will arrive at a collaboration, and now we are satisfied: the Catalan singer Rosalia and the American musician Oneohtrix finally announce the publication of a piece together!

Paul McCartney ends up on stamps

07/05/2021

In England there are institutions that are untouchable, first of all Queen Elizabeth II who reigns undisputed in the beating heart of every Englishman, then there are the Beatles, and that's the reason why they were awarded the title of baronets.

Fatboy Slim and Blessed Madonna attended the Liverpool event

03/05/2021

Looking at the images, one immediately thinks of archive photos of at least a year and a half ago. Lots of people together without masks dancing freely

GodSpeed You! Black Emperor new record and new requests


How a music group can deliver strong and clear messages without singing is a mystery yet Canadians GoodSpeed You! Black Emperor they succeed very well.

What ties Tom Yorke and Jun Takahashi

30/03/2021

"Creep" by Radiohead is certainly one of the most listened to, revisited and reinterpreted songs in the history of music. So much loved and listened to on all six continents, at least once in our life we all found ourselves humming it.

Trouble ahead for rapper T.I. and his wife Tiny

19/03/2021

Very bad story for rapper T.I. and his wife Tiny, in fact, they have been accused of sexual abuse and kidnapping.

Lady Gaga and her stolen dogs

10/03/2021

The malefactor managed to take Koji and Gustavo away, while Miss Asia, the third bulldog, escaped and was found shortly after by Lady Gaga's bodyguards.

David Crosby against Phoebe Bridgers

16/02/2021

David Crosby against Phoebe Bridgers, if we had been in the Middle Ages, they probably would have challenged each other with the sword, while in 2021 they decided to go wild with tweets.

Evan Rachel Wood has denounced Marilyn Manson


Evan Rachel Wood, the beautiful protagonist of Westworld has decided to denounce the violence she has suffered for years, at least according to what she claims, by Marilyn Manson.

The Glastonbury Festival has been canceled

26/01/2021

After some positive signs in the past months, here is the news that we weren't hoping to learn and that throws new questions on the possibility of organizing festivals and live concerts for 2021.

The Kennedy center Honors award Joan Baez

20/01/2021

The winners of the 43rd edition of the Kennedy Center Honors have recently been announced, including Joan Baez, Dick Van Dyke, Debbie Allen and the violinist Midori.

The collaboration between Soundgarden and Brandi Carlile

12/01/2021

The band Soundgarden recently recorded two classics with Brandie Carlile. After the death of their leader Chris Cornell, the band had decided to stop for some time also as a sign of respect for the untimely death of their front man.

Foo Fighters announced the release of new album

05/01/2021

New year is synonymous of news and in fact 2021 opened with a nice surprise. The American rock group, The Foo Fighters, founded in 1994 by Dave Grohl ex drummer of Nirvana, delight us with the release of a new single entitled "No son of Mine".

Guitarist Tony Rice died at the age of 69

02/01/2021

He was 69 and on Christmas Day, guitarist Tony Rice, Bluegrass legend, passed away. His label, Rounder Records, made the news with an official release on December 26th.

Ten Cities: the culture of clubbing from Johannesburg to Naples

29/12/2020

We still talk about music, but today we do it from a different point of view, taking a cue from a book, a photographic book called Ten Cities.

1970, fifty years of Bob Dylan's song

22/12/2020

I was about 6 years old when I listened for the first time "Blowing in the wind" hummed by my mom while she was accompanying me to school, the version was the Italian one, but I liked the rhythm right away.