[Intro]
Bon, heu... écouté Monsieur Canardo, vous êtes atteins de ce que l'on appelle dans le jargon médical "Ce Fairus Des Filmus" hein, c'est une maladie qui se manifeste par des moments d'absence, qui sont déclenché par un mot ou une phrase
Donc... C'est ce qui vous fait partir dans un monde parallèle, vous comprenez ?
Vous allez vous crée des scénario improbable, qui n'existe pas
Vous comprenez ce que je dit Monsieur Canardo ?
Monsieur Canardo ?
Monsieur Canardo est-ce que vous comprenez ce que je dit ?
[Refrain x2]
J'suis dans un film, thug
Boys N The Hood, Menace To Society sous le coude
Scarface dans les yeux de mon fusil
Le seul problème, c'est que c'est pas la vraie vie
[Couplet 1]
Comme chaque matin, j'vais faire mes courses
J'prend ma Twingo et ma veste en peau d'Ours
J'trace ma route, j'fais pas de détours
Fond d'cinquième, direction l'Carrefour
J'ai trop la dale, j'me gare en double file
Faut surtout pas que j'oublie qu'il faut que je prenne des piles
Cinq minutes que j'ai remarqué
Que le vigile arrête pas de me filer !
Bagarre de regard dans le rayon de PQ
J'sors mon gun et l'lui tire dessus
Esquive, saute dans les bouteilles Volvic
Réplique avec son putain d'automatique
J'change de chargeur dans le rayon fromage
J'sais plus quoi faire, j'prend un otage
J'tire en l'air, réclame un hélico
J'veux mes napolitains et mon paquet de piles !
[Refrain x2]
[Couplet 2]
Sur Les Champs, j'retire du fric
J'rejoins une gow que j'ai tchaté sur Meetic
Elle m'tire dans un resto ambiance ruskov
Tout de suite elle me sert un verre de Poliakov
Mais le serveur me regarde trop stique-mi
Puis elle m'embrasse d'un air " J'suis toute ouïe "
J'remarque que le sol est recouvert de plastique
Soudain dans mon dos j'entend un ptit clique !
J'retourne la table, chaise dans mon dos
J'me retrouve à terre j'ramasse un couteau
La meuf de Meetic me tape dans la jambe
Fumigène j'vois plus rien je rampe sur le sol
Jusqu'à leurs local de compta
J'trouve une tronçonneuse en très bon état
J'les découpe tous avant que les flics rappliquent
Plus jamais je revais sur ce putain de Meetic
[Refrain x2]
[Couplet 3]
Samedi soir, j'suis invité
Par un pote à une soirée déguisée
En p'tit lapin, mais j'lui dit que je suis trop fatigué
Il me dit " t'inquiète il y aura de la meuf XXX "
Bref, on arrive, château, piscine
On m'présente, que des missiles
J'ai pas l'habitude, y'a un truc pas net
En plus de sa j'commence à devenir pompette !
Le soleil s'couche, les masques tombent
Les canines longues, les yeux rouges sang
Ça pousse des cris, ça croque des cous
J'cavale dans les bois avec du sang partout
L'un d'eux me rattrape, coup de tête, manchette
J'reprend ma course, j'trouve une cachette
J'reste planqué jusqu'au matin
Plus jamais je reviens en lapin !
[Refrain x2]
[Outro]
J'me fait beau gosse, ce soir je sors
J'arrive devant la boite, on m'dit " c'est mort "
Ah ok... baaah, bonne soirée alors...
Tu vois c'est ça le problème avec la vraie vie
Hé les gars, venez on retourne dans ma tête
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