Herr von der Sonderhagen:
Herr Lichtenhäuser!
Ich habe es Ihnen mehrere hundert Mal gesagt und ich werde jetzt langsam böse:
Sie können nicht mit Ihrem Zweispänner durch meinen Garten fahren.
Abgesehen davon, dass mein Garten gerade mal vierhundert Meter im Quadrat misst,
zerstören Sie mir jedes Mal meine Blumenrabatte, und neulich haben Sie meine Frau fast auf die Hörner Ihrer Ziege genommen.
Herr Lichtenhäuser:
Aber Herr von der Sonderhagen.
Ich bin doch nur daumengroß und mein Zweispänner misst kaum eine Elle.
Ich bin doch nicht der Rede wert.
Herr von der Sonderhagen:
Und ob, Herr Lichtenhäuser!
Sie treiben ´s allzu bunt in letzter Zeit.
Ihre Zügellosigkeit ist mir schon länger ein Dorn im Auge.
Herr Lichtenhäuser:
Wohl hab ich meine Zügel fest in der Hand, Herr von der Sonderhagen.
Aber wenn meine Ziegen wiehernd durch Ihre Gräser jagen, berstend vor Lust und ungestüm, dann fühl´ ich mich frei und ohne Furcht, und ich habe ja nichts anderes als Ihren Garten, um mich zu erheben über Ihre Größe, Ihren Reichtum und Ihren Besitz, über Ihre schöne Frau und Ihre Blumenrabatte.
Ich habe nur meinen Zweispänner, der sich allzu oft im Dickicht Ihres englischen Rasens verliert und oft muss ich Monate warten, bis Sie mich und meine Ziegen aus Ihrem Kästchen auf die Terrasse setzen, während Ihre dicken Kinder mir Kuchenkrümel zuwerfen.
Wie oft musste ich um zusätzliche Luftlöcher betteln, ja mich erniedrigen, frivole Lieder singen, während Sie sich auf die Schenkel schlugen und Ihre Frau die Blockflöte blies.
Ich fordere Gerechtigkeit, Herr von der Sonderhagen, und wenn es sich denn nicht anders machen lässt: Satisfaktion!
Herr von der Sonderhagen:
Herr Lichtenhäuser, es gibt Mittel und Wege ...
Herr Lichtenhäuser:
... um mir den Mund zu verbieten, das fröhliche Ausreiten mit meinem Gespann?
Das ist sozusagen mein Grundrecht. Das ist gesetzlich verankert. Darf ich Sie daran erinnern?
Herr von der Sonderhagen:
Däumlingsgesetze, Herr Lichtenhäuser! Däumlingsgesetze!
Herr Lichtenhäuser:
Ja, da haben Sie wohl recht, Herr von der Sonderhagen.
Dann werd´ ich Ihnen besser wohl wieder die Nägel reinigen.
Herr von der Sonderhagen:
Das will ich Ihnen auch geraten haben, Herr Lichtenhäuser.
Sonst schwillt mir der Kamm!
Herr Lichtenhäuser:
Nicht schon wieder der Kamm, Herr von der Sonderhagen.
Alles, nur nicht schon wieder den Kamm schwellen lassen!
Das wäre mein sicherer Tod.
Herr von der Sonderhagen:
Sehen Sie, wir verstehen uns doch, Herr Lichtenhäuser.
Herr Lichtenhäuser:
Wie immer, Herr von der Sonderhagen, wie immer.
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