Que fait donc en ce lieu,
Parmi ces messieurs,
Cette blonde aux bras nus,
Si nus qu'elle éternue,
Dans ses doigts, elle se mouche
Et pour s'rincer la bouche,
Elle commande un cognac,
Puis un autre cognac,
Je lui dis à l'oreille:
"T'es belle comme Diane de Poitiers,
Veux tu prendre la moitié
De mon lit si t'as sommeil ?"
Elle me répond, je cite:
"Il faut pas que tu t'excites,
Ce n'est pas c'que tu penses,
Je suis restée vieille France."
"C'est d'accord, je t'acceuille,
Moi je dors dans le fauteuil
En tout bien, tout honneur,
Comme un frère et une soeur,
Toi le lit, moi la banquette,
À la bonne franquette,
C'est d'accord pour ce soir,
Moi je dors dans la baignoire.
Certes, je ne suis pas un saint
Et quand la lumière s'eteint,
Je n'ai pas toujours dit non
Mais jm'en remet à Platon
Pour nous deux c'est plus sage,
Vu la difference d'âge,
Non ce soir pas d'folies
Chacun dans son lit.
Soit je ne suis pas un moine,
J'dissipe mon patrimoine
Dans ce bar un peu glauque,
Ma voix est dev'nue rauque
À la suite des abus
Mais ce soir j'ai rien bu,
Non, ce soir je suis strict,
Le devoir me le dicte.
J'ai rien d'un ecclésiastique,
Ma conscience est élastique
Et si j'fais mon examen,
J'suis pas dans l'droit chemin,
Non, je ne suis pas très pieux
Quand c'est l'heure d'aller au pieu,
Je fais rarement ma prière,
J'préfère une petite bière.
Certes je ne suis pas un prêtre,
Ce s'rait mal me connaître,
Et les soirs de pleine lune,
J'en ai détournée plus d'une,
Mais faut pas rester dehors
Avec tout ces délinquants,
Sois tranquille, moi je dors
Sur le lit de camp.
Soit, j'suis pas un chérubin,
Faudrait que j'prenne un bain,
Que je rase sur mes joues
Cette barbe acajou,
Et mon linge n'est pas net,
Enfin, pour être honnête,
Ce matin dans le bus,
J'ai attrapé une puce.
Les nuits d'hiver sont longues
Dans ma baignoire oblongue,
Elles sont longues et frisquettes,
Surtout sur la banquette,
Le divan du séjour,
Le canapé d'velours,
Le fauteuil Louis-Phillipe.
À ch'val sur les principes!
C'est d'accord, je t'accueille,
Moi je dors dans le fauteuil
En tout bien, tout honneur,
Comme un frère et une soeur,
Toi le lit, moi la banquette,
À la bonne franquette,
C'est d'accord pour ce soir,
Moi je dors dans la baignoire."
Thomas Fersen (born 4 January 1963 in Paris) is a French singer-songwriter.
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