Tutto accadde il 18 ISOLABELLA del 1900STOCK84.
come andò? E un MOET, un MOET di pazienza
che Federico Salvatore ve lo racconta.
Dunque SEVENAPP, SEVENAPP, SEVENEAPPena fatte 'e sette
quando calò un banco di NEBIOLO
sul raccordo FRASCATI - COLLI ALBANI,
io ero alla guida della mia BORSCH CABERNET ROSE
che per evitare rate e cambiali,
l'avevo presa in verità a REESELING,
CERES anche la RADIS dentro, una RADIS DOC, DOC mo...d'occasione,
che mi aveva regalato mio COGNAC BRUNELLO
il marito di mia sorella BIANCOLELLA,
insieme a tre cassette di DON CHERRI, Mia MARTINI BIANCO,
e l'ultimo di RAMAZZOTTI. Per la macchina in verità
non pagavo nemmeno la TASSONI di circolazione,
ma PEROL, ma PEROL vi dico a voi era FANTA, FANTA, FANTAstica:
mai una volta il motore in PANNA,
mai una volta l'acqua nel radiatore che RIBOLLA
oh!, Quando mettevo in moto: TURAH! Cron....Cron....CRONEMBURG...
VOV VOV VOV, RUM RUM e via, a tutto gasSOSA;
ero UNICUM ero UNICUM, pensate entravo in CURVA SIERRA
a 180 km all'ora, quattro gomme SHAMPENUARES made in CHINAR,
serbatoio SHARMAT per benzina a riserva speciale,
invece del Q8 andavo a J&B....
Ma quella VODKA, quella VODKA per un punto MS
non FERNET all' ospedale dei SAN PELLEGRINO,
per scansare un CRODINO di NANO GHIACCIATO
che mi attraversò RAPITALA' la strada a testa CHINA MARTINI,
io per NOD schiacciarlo come un MOSCOSCAIA
dopo un colpo pINO A SECCO sul freno
SWEPPESSSS..................non l'avessi mai fatto;
la macchina si ritrova CARPENE MALVOLTI dentro una SAMBUCA,
per miracolo di SAN GEMINI, per la grazia di SAN MARZANO
o per l'intercessione di SAN BITTER,
venni fuori FIANO FIANO dal CRISTAL si,
dal CRISTAL del parabrezza, mi toccai il COPACABANA
e un po' di SANGUE ROSSO ANTICO mi usciva dalla RABARBARO zucca.
MORETTI dalla paura, MORETTI dalla paura,
la strada era DESSERT
non c'era nemmeno una FONTANA FREDDA nei paragi,
solo il Nano era BEVERLI vicino a me,
mi alzai in piedi, io ero LONG JON lui invece era PICCOLIT,
PICCOLIT ma PICCOLIT.......Così,
lo presi per il COLLIO e gridai: piccolo VERMUT PROSECCO BRUT,
PROSECCO BRUT com'è che non FIUGGI via eh?
MERLOT dici o non MERLOT dici,
e 'a visto che SANTAEVANNA 'e combinato,
ma te pare questa la GRAND MARNIER di attraversare la strada?
Se tu vuoi morire io voglio CAMPARI e 'a capì? Voglio CAMPARI
e se proprio te vuò fa male va passe 'nu BLACK AND WHITE tu,
chella FRANCIACORTA 'e soreta, chella VECCHIA ROMAGNA 'e mammeta,
chillu CERASUOLO 'e patete, chillu stravecchio NOCILLO
di tuo nonnino e chella GRAPPA BOCCHINO 'e ziteta.
Diventai un BARBARESCO si, TOCAI il FUNDADOR della volgarità,
ma il NANO GHIACCIATO, bello e buono,
prende una PETRUS di GRECO DI TUFO GLEN GRANT così e SPRITE!!!
Me la CAVIT 'ncoppe 'o pere 'e PALUMMO,
come BALLANDAIN po' dolore, come BALLANDAIN po' dolore,
POMMERI me, POMMERI me, TROPICAL, TROPICAL,
TROPPi calli tenevo sul dito GRIGNOLINO
non vi dico i CHIANTI, LACHRIMA CHRISTI a litri.
Fu un DRAMB, un DRAMB,un DRAMBUIE
se solo ci penso mi viene l'AMARO CORA aho!
Quanto io ho sofferto quella sera lo sa solo DIESUS.
Federico Salvatore is a performer. His discography includes Azz…, L'Osceno del Villaggio, L' Osceno del Villaggio, Il mago di Azz and Superfederico. His most popular genre is Blues.
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