Rincez bien les oreilles : elle est dure de la feuille...
Le notaire de Saint-Malo
Voudrait bien marier sa fille
Mais elle sourde comme un pot
A part ça elle est gentille.
Il l'a fait venir à Paris
Dans un tas de soirées mondaines.
Elle n'a pas pu trouver de mari,
Le notaire a de la peine
D'autant plus qu' derrière un rideau
Il entendit certains propos
Tenus par quelques gigolos
Qui parlaient d' sa fille en ces mots :
Elle sent bon le chèvrefeuille
Tout ça c'est bien, fort bien, très bien
Hélas elle est dure de la feuille
Elle n'entend rien, mais rien de rien.
Si ses toilettes la distinguent
Et si on désire lui faire un compliment
Faut gueuler car elle est sourdingue
Et on s'enroue immédiatement.
Faut gueuler car elle est sourdingue
Et on s'enroue immédiatement.
Ah c'est dommage : elle est charmante...
- Vous êtes bien jolie, BIEN JOLIE !
- Au lit ? Qu'est-ce que vous voulez faire au lit ?
- Non, je dis : Jolie, avec votre grand chapeau !
- Un grand chameau ? Où voyez-vous un grand chameau ?
- Mais non : Votre chapeau, garni de dentelles !
- Un chameau dans un nid d'hirondelles ? Mais vous êtes fou !
Pauvre fille, elle n'a rien compris. Alors rideau...
Le notaire de Saint-Malo
A vu des docteurs célèbres.
L'un d'entre eux, un vrai rigolo,
Lui a dit : Dans les ténèbres,
Tirez un coup de feu en l'air
Pour lui ouvrir la trompe d'Eustache.
Le soir, muni de son revolver,
Dans sa chambre v'là qu'il se cache.
Il tire trois balles dans le plafond
Il a cassé la suspension,
Fendu la glace du grand salon.
Elle a souillé son pantalon.
Elle sent bon le chèvrefeuille
Tout ça c'est bien, fort bien, très bien
Elle est toujours dure de la feuille
Elle n'entend rien, mais rien de rien.
Elle est devenue plus malingre
Elle a de l'entérite depuis cet accident
Et comme elle est toujours sourdingue
Ça donne quelque chose de charmant
Et comme elle est toujours sourdingue
Ça donne quelque chose de charmant.
- Alors, vous avez eu peur ? PEUR !
Je dis : VOUS AVEZ EU PEUR ?
- Non merci : pas de beurre. Ça fait grossir.
- (Ah oui, y a rien à faire...) Et l'oreille ? Toujours BOUCHEE ?
- Il passe tous les matins.
- Quoi ?
- Le boucher : il passe tous les matins
Oh, pauvre fille : elle n'a encore rien compris. Allons ! Rideau...
Elle a trouvé, c'n'est pas trop tôt,
Un mari de complaisance
Un jeune homme qui n'est pas très beau
Et muet depuis sa naissance.
Il ne lui dit jamais un mot
Elle ne répond pas une parole
Ça donne de très jolis tableaux
Le soir au lit, c'est croquignole
Elle n'entend rien, mais rien du tout
Quand il remplit ses devoirs d'époux
Mais il est muet, il n'est pas mou
Elle se réveille mère à chaque coup.
Elle a douze gosses sans qu'elle le veuille
Tous les douze gueulent comme des putois
Car ils sont tous durs de la feuille
Et ils parlent tous à la fois.
Quand l' père se fâche, ça le distingue
Il ouvre la bouche mais il n'en sort que du vent
Le muet engueulant les sourdingues
Ça donne quelque chose de marrant
Le muet engueulant les sourdingues
Ça donne quelque chose de marrant.
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Overhead
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