1
Was ist geschehen? Ich kann mich nur bruchstückhaft erinnern.
Ich stand klitschenass an einem See, denn es goß wie verrückt. Ich streckte meine Hand dem Himmel entgegen und hielt irgendetwas Faustgroßes und sehr Klebriges darin. Rote Rinnsale liefen an meinem Arm herab. Ich weiß, ich muss eine ganze Zeit schon so dagestanden haben. Eine Ewigkeit. Was war geschehen?
2
Da war noch etwas zuvor.
Ich saß am See und alles war voller Blut. Weit entfernt ein Gewitter. Ich beobachtete eine Blüte, die an der Oberfläche trieb, und träumte so vor mich hin. Regen setzte ein und fiel bald in Strömen. Ein kräftiger Wind blies durch die Halme am See. Ich stellte mich auf. Meine Kleidung bereits nach kurzer Zeit von den dicken Tropfen vollkommen durchnässt, streckte ich meine Hand, die irgend etwas von dir fest umklammerte, dem göttlichen Donner entgegen.
Die Abstände zwischen Blitz und Donner wurden immer kürzer und eine unbeschreibliche Sehnsucht überkam mich. Und dieses blutverschmierte Ding in meiner Hand sah aus wie ein Herz, und es schien anzufangen zu pumpen und zu pochen. Doch das konnte nur eine Täuschung gewesen sein.
3
Ich erinnere mich. Da war noch mehr.
Vorher brannten Kerzen. Sie waren fast herabgebrannt. Ich glaube, sie brannten zu deinem Gedenken. Das blutverschmierte Kleid völlig zerrissen, lagst du neben mir. Dein Körper war nach der ganzen Zeit, die bereits vergangen sein musste, schon ganz blass. Dein neues Kleid würde ein Kleid aus schweren, nassen Blättern und Schlick sein, dachte ich mir noch.
Behutsam ließ ich deinen Körper in das Wasser gleiten. Er entfernte sich vom Ufer, versank schließlich nach einer kurzen Weile, hinab zu all den anderen Geheimnissen des stillen Sees. Versunken auch ich, lange Zeit in Gedanken. Ich nahm etwas in die Hand. Es war alles, was mir von dir geblieben war. Nur eine Blüte aus deinem Haar trieb noch auf dem Wasser, als die Flamme der letzten Kerze erlosch.
4
Ja, ich kann mich wieder erinnern. Davor saßen wir an dem See, die Kerzen brannten. Ein Glas mit einem Rest Wein war dir aus der Hand geglitten. Es war nicht bloß Wein darin. Langsam ließ ich dich in das Gras sinken. Ich steckte dir noch eine Blüte in das Haar. Ich setzte ein Messer an. Ich stieß es dir durch die Rippen. Ich öffnete deinen regungslosen Brustkorb, bahnte mir mit der groben Klinge den Weg zu deinem Herzen. Einige Regentropfen fielen und benetzten die offene, noch warme Wunde.
Ich schnitt mir dein Herz heraus. Ich trennte es von den umliegenden Blutgefäßen ab, entnahm es vorsichtig seiner Hülle. Ich nahm mir dein Herz, gehörte es doch immer schon mir.
Dein Blut bedeckte meine Hände und das Gras um uns herum. Rotes Gras! Dein Brustkorb weit offen lagst du neben mir. Dein Blick starr, doch irgendwie zufrieden. Ich schloss deine Augen.
Oft schon tat ich dir weh,
Zu oft schon, und so fragte ich dich am See,
Ob du mir helfen willst, bei meinem letzten Werk.
Stillste Stund is a group formed in 1998. Their discography includes Biestblut - Zwei in Einem, Ein Mensch, ein Ding, ein Traum, Ursprung Paradoxon, Blendwerk Antikunst and Blendwerk Antikunst EP.
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