It sucks to be me(spoken)KAT
E MONSTERMorning, Brian!BRIANHi, Kate Monster.KATE MONSTERHow's life?BRIANDisappointing!KAT
E MONSTERWhat's the matter?BRIAN
The catering company laid me off.KAT
E MONSTEROh, I'm sorry!BRIAN
Me too! I mean, look at me! I'm ten years out of college, and Ialways thought --KATE MONSTERWhat?BRIANNo, it sounds stupid.KAT
E MONSTERAww, come on!(sung)BRIAN
When I was little I thought I would be...KAT
E MONSTERWhat?BRIANA big comedian on late night t.v.
But now I'm thirty-two and as you can seeI'm not.KAT
E MONSTERNope!BRIANOh well,it sucks to be me.KAT
E MONSTERNooooo.BRIANIt sucks to be me.KAT
E MONSTERNo!BRIANIt sucks to be broke and unemployedand turning thirty-three.
It sucks to be me.KAT
E MONSTEROh, you think your life sucks?BRIAN
I think so.KAT
E MONSTERYour problems aren't so bad!I'm kinda pretty, and pretty damn smart.BRIAN
You are.KAT
E MONSTERThanks!I like romantic things like music and art.
And as you know I have a gigantic heart.
So why, don't I have a boyfriend?
Fuck! It sucks to be me!BRIAN
Me too.KAT
E MONSTERIt sucks to be me.BRIAN
It sucks to be me.
It sucks to be Brian...KATE MONSTERAnd Kate...BRIANTo not have a job!KAT
E MONSTERTo not have a date!BOTH
It sucks to be me.(spoken)BRIAN
Hey, Rod, Nicky, can you settle something for us?
Do you have a second?ROD
Ah, certainly.KAT
E MONSTERWhose life sucks more? Brian's or mine?(sung)NICK
Y AND RODOurs!RODWe live together.NICKYWe're as close as people can get.RODWe've been the best of buddies...NICKY
Ever since the day we met.ROD
So he knows lots of ways to make me really upset.
Oh, every day is an aggravation.NICKY
Come on, that's an exaggeration!ROD
You leave your clothes out.
You put your feet on my chair.NICKY
Oh yeah? You do such anal thingslike ironing your underwear.ROD
You make that very small apartment we sharea hell.NICKY
So do you.That's why I'm in hell too!ROD
It sucks to be me!NICKY
No, it sucks to be me!KAT
E MONSTERIt sucks to be me!BRIAN
It sucks to be me!ALL
Is there anybody here it doesn't suck to be?
It sucks to be me!CHRISTMA
S EVEWhy you all so happy?NICKY
Because our lives suck!CHRISTMA
S EVEYour lives suck?
I hearing you correctly? Ha!I coming to this country for opportunities.
Tried to work in Korean deli,but I am Japanese.But with hard work I earn two Master's Degreesin social work!
And now I a therapist!
But I have no clients!(smacking Brian)And I have anunemployed fiance!
And we have lotsof bills to pay!
It suck to be me!
It suck to be me!
I say itSucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-suck!
It suck to be me.(spoken)PRINCETON
Excuse me?BRIAN
Hey there.PRINCETON
Sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for a place to live.CHRISTMA
S EVEWhy you looking all the way out here?PRINCETON
Well, I started at Avenue A, but so far everything is outof my price range. But this neighborhood looks a lot cheaper!
Oh, and look -- a "For Rent" sign!BRIAN
You need to talk to the superintendent. Let me get him.PRINCETON
Great, thanks!BRIAN
Yo, GARY!GARY COLEMANI'm comin'! I'm comin'!PRINCETONOh my God! It's Gary Coleman!GARY COLEMANYes I am!(sung)I'm Gary Colemanfrom TV's Diff'rent StrokesI made a lotta moneythat got stolen by my folks!
Now I'm broke andI'm the butt of everyone's jokes,but I'm here --the superintendent!
On Avenue Q --ALLIt sucks to be you.KAT
E MONSTERYou win!ALL
It sucks to be you.BRIAN
I feel better now!GAR
Y COLEMANTry having people stopping you to ask you"
What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"It gets old.ALL
It sucks to be you.
On Avenue Q.(sucks to be me)
On Avenue Q.(sucks to be you)
On Avenue Q.(sucks to be us)
But not whenwe're together.We're togetherhere on Avenue Q!We live on Avenue Q!Our friends do too!'Til our dreams come true,we live on Avenue Q!PRINCETONThis is real life!ALL
We live on Avenue Q!NICKYYou're gonna love it.ALL
We live on Avenue Q!GARY COLEMANHere's your keys!ALL
Welcome to Avenue Q!
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