Comme tout un chacun, il m'est bien arrivé de mesurer la bête;
Le soir dans mon lit, lorsque j'avais huit ans avec mon décimètre.
Impatient de savoir si Dame Nature m'avait bien gâté !
A mon grand désespoir, je me suis aperçu qu'elle m'avait oublié.
Il est des choses qui font que la vie est parfois difficile et cruelle.
Lorsqu'on est un garçon, on prend bien mal pour soi de n'être pas en règle.
Moi j'aurais bien aimé un cigare de Havane et deux gros abricots,
Mais la réalité m'a donné une gitane et deux petits noyaux.
C'est pas grave. Je le vis bien.
Je n'en ai pas honte.
C'est ma vie, mon quotidien,
Que je vous raconte.
Quelques années plus tard, le duvet au menton et les années collège,
A l'âge où l'on compare aux cours de natation nos petits bouts de liège,
Je me suis vu, à poil, les gamins de la classe qui face à mon moineau
Se sont moqués de moi en débalant tous cash leurs énormes corbeaux !
Je prétextais alors que la taille n'était due
Qu'à la teneur en chlore ou la température mais j'n'ais pas convaincu.
Depuis ce triste jour, on me colle un surnom :
"Petit zizi tout court", comprenez qu'avec ça, je passe pour un con. Miséricorde.
C'est pas grave. Je le vis bien.
Je n'en ai pas honte.
C'est ma vie, mon quotidien,
Mes belles rencontres.
Et voici mon record : le baccalauréat, soirée de fin d'année,
Je me revois encore, jeune garçon maladroit, timide et réservé,
Assis sur une chaise, attendant, tête baissée, la fin du quart d'heure slow,
Moi je crûs à un rêve en voyant Miss Lycée m'adresser quelques mots.
Salut ! Comment tu vas ? Bah moi c'est Miss Lycée !
Surtout ne t'emballe pas, je te le dis direct, je n'viens pas pour danser !
C'est qu'avec mes copines, on se pose une question :
Est-il vrai que tu as une minuscule épine au fond de ton caleçon ? Trop la hirchma !
C'est pas grave. Je le vis bien.
Je n'en ai pas honte.
Mais bon, là, tu vas trop loin,
Laisse-moi te répondre.
Mais enfin, t'es-tu vue, espèce de petite conne ?
La beauté de ton cul est inégale au reste et ta connerie m'étonne.
Quand tu souris, on voit ton appareil dentaire.
J'n'ai pas voté pour toi, je préfère le nature aux centrales nucléaires !
Et vas-y, chiale, maintenant ! Fais couler ton fond d'teint !
Je te le dis franchement, toi, tu la joues Miss France, mais tu fais Miss Putain !
Vas dire à tes copines que la réponse est oui !
La taille de mon sexe reflète sensiblement leur niveau de QI. Quoi, tu veux un mouchoir?
C'est pas grave, hein ? Surtout, qu'elle le vive bien.
J'veux dire : qu'elle n'en ait pas honte.
Puisque c'est ma vie, mon quotidien,
Que ces petites langues de vipère racontent.
Mais voici qu'aujourd'hui, j'ai une vie publique et quelques comptes à rendre.
A tous ceux qui ont nuit à ma réputation colportant sur mon membre.
Je menace publiquement de donner leur adresse et leur mensuration
Pour que la vie leur fasse, comme j'en ai fait le test, une queue de poisson.
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The 2022 Grammy Awards were the chronicle of an announced triumph: Jon Baptiste collected 11 nominations and won 5 Grammys, defeating all opponents. This was also the year of the very young Olivia Rodrigo, who managed to take home 3 Grammys, including the the best new artist.
Here is finally some good news, the Arcade Fire have finally revealed the title and release date of their new album, 5 years after the last one. For the fan of the group it has been a time that seemed eternal,
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Looking at the images, one immediately thinks of archive photos of at least a year and a half ago. Lots of people together without masks dancing freely
How a music group can deliver strong and clear messages without singing is a mystery yet Canadians GoodSpeed You! Black Emperor they succeed very well.
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Very bad story for rapper T.I. and his wife Tiny, in fact, they have been accused of sexual abuse and kidnapping.
The malefactor managed to take Koji and Gustavo away, while Miss Asia, the third bulldog, escaped and was found shortly after by Lady Gaga's bodyguards.
David Crosby against Phoebe Bridgers, if we had been in the Middle Ages, they probably would have challenged each other with the sword, while in 2021 they decided to go wild with tweets.
Evan Rachel Wood, the beautiful protagonist of Westworld has decided to denounce the violence she has suffered for years, at least according to what she claims, by Marilyn Manson.
After some positive signs in the past months, here is the news that we weren't hoping to learn and that throws new questions on the possibility of organizing festivals and live concerts for 2021.
The winners of the 43rd edition of the Kennedy Center Honors have recently been announced, including Joan Baez, Dick Van Dyke, Debbie Allen and the violinist Midori.
The band Soundgarden recently recorded two classics with Brandie Carlile. After the death of their leader Chris Cornell, the band had decided to stop for some time also as a sign of respect for the untimely death of their front man.
New year is synonymous of news and in fact 2021 opened with a nice surprise. The American rock group, The Foo Fighters, founded in 1994 by Dave Grohl ex drummer of Nirvana, delight us with the release of a new single entitled "No son of Mine".
He was 69 and on Christmas Day, guitarist Tony Rice, Bluegrass legend, passed away. His label, Rounder Records, made the news with an official release on December 26th.
We still talk about music, but today we do it from a different point of view, taking a cue from a book, a photographic book called Ten Cities.
I was about 6 years old when I listened for the first time "Blowing in the wind" hummed by my mom while she was accompanying me to school, the version was the Italian one, but I liked the rhythm right away.
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