Faf Larage

Lyrics Le brancheur Faf Larage

 620

Le brancheur


Tous les jours des putains de ringards pénibles arpentent les rues et les clubs pour brancher des meufs. Voici leurs histoires...

Et c'est toujours les moches qui viennent !

Franchement je te promets pas le grand soir
Ni à manger ni à boire
Ni bougie, ni sushi, ni musique
Au premier rancard y aura pas de fantaisie, hé vas-y
Offre le doner bien moisi
Avec moi y a pas de baby, t'es pas ma lady
Mais si t'as des sous j'en profite
Non attends, je blague on va s'aimer
« Sur une étoile » mon cul ! Dans les chiottes d'un club ça le fait
Fais pas ta Laura Ingalls t'es une chaude je le sens
Pas grave si t'as tes règles moi je pète en dormant
On est fait pour s'entendre, et dis à tes copines de pas t'attendre
Dis-leur ce soir c'est sucette à la viande
Poupée la vie est trop courte faut se lâcher
T'as le sourire de Gollum mais pas de quartier (lâche-moi !)
Fin de soirée fais pas ta mijaurée
J'ai les crocs, je prends tout si tu veux te marrer

RefrainHé cousine y aura pas de champagne et de jacuzzi
Toi et moi cousin c'est pas possible
Vas-y ferme ta gueule et reste tranquille (c'est quoi ce mec ?!)
Hé cousine y aura pas de champagne et de jacuzzi
Tu sais pas parler et t'as pas de style
Vas-y ferme ta gueule et reste tranquille (vas-y dégage !)

Même en situation difficile le crevard de la night ne lâche jamais l'affaire...

Attends, reste, eh mais tu sais pas qui je suis ?!
Là je fais mon comeback mais je suis jamais parti
Hé te moque pas ça casse la magie
Mais tu te prends pour qui ?
On n'est pas dans un clip, on n'est pas en Amérique
Hein ? Roman... quoi ? Romantique !
Remonte vite chez ta mère je suis pas un bouffon sensible
Mais qu'est ce qui nous arrive ?
Même si là t'es pas terrible, promis
D'ici quelques verres tu seras comestible au lit
Massage olé-olé te caresse comme un poulpe et
Mamie dis-le à tes copines
Non pas à la moche là, laisse la partir
Elle a la tête de l'indien des Black Eyed Peas
Excuse le rôt parfumé à la Marlboro
Merde sur ton chemisier y a un bout d'agneau
Ouais qu'est-ce qu'il y a juste j'ai bu
Fais pas ta difficile quand t'es gaulée comme un zébu
En soirée les gars se cassent dès qu'ils m'ont vu
Un plan cul ils savent que j'y suis dessus !
Je suis comme ça gros
L'humour entre les Musclés et Bali-Balo et je me jette à l'eau

Refrain

Et lorsque vient l'heure du départ, le pauvre type au bord du gouffre tente le tout pour le tout...

C'est ma love song, underground cousine
Pas de champagne ni de Rnb
Tout, tout je te dirai tout sur le zizi
Si tu fais pas ta ni pute ni soumise
M'insulte pas je suis connu ici
Tu sais ce qu'on dit quand on n'est pas jolie on est polie
Des amants maudits, allez on fuit j'ai pas de Porsche
Mais 2 Fantas au drive et pour une pipe je paie les croques
Ou bien on va chez toi, une bouffe ouais c'est parti
Fais moi des spaghettis si tu veux tâter mes parties
Underwear Tati, poutre apparente
Velu comme un grizzli le gars a trop de style
Eh t'en va pas cousine attends s'il le faut
Je suis prêt à te payer mais c'est mon dernier mot
Ça fait 2 ans que j'ai pas niqué depuis mon retour de Hong Kong
Putain fais un geste j'ai les couilles de King Kong

Refrain

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