C'est à travers de larges grilles,
Que les femelles du canton
Contemplaient un puissant gorille,
Sans souci du qu'en-dira-t-on ;
Avec impudeur, ces commères
Lorgnaient même un endroit précis
Que rigoureusement ma mère
M'a défendu d'nommer ici.
Gare au gorille !
Tout à coup, la prison bien close,
Où vivait le bel animal,
S'ouvre on n'sait pourquoi (je suppose
Qu'on avait dû la fermer mal) ;
Le singe, en sortant de sa cage,
Dit : " C'est aujourd'hui que j'le perds ! "
Il parlait de son pucelage,
Vous aviez deviné, j'espère !
Gare au gorille !
L'patron de la ménagerie
Criait éperdu : " Nom de nom !
C'est assommant car le gorille
N'a jamais connu de guenon ! "
Dès que la féminine engeance
Sut que le singe était puceau
Au lieu de profiter d'la chance
Elle fit feu des deux fuseaux !
Gare au gorille
Celles-là même qui naguère
Le couvaient d'un ?il décidé
Fuirent, prouvant qu'elles n'avaient guère
De la suite dans les idées ;
D'autant plus vaine était leur crainte
Que le gorille est un luron
Supérieur à l'homme dans l'étreinte,
Bien des femmes vous le diront !
Gare au gorille !
Tout le monde se précipite
Hors d'atteinte du singe en rut,
Sauf une vieille décrépite
Et un jeune juge en bois brut.
Voyant que toutes se dérobent,
Le quadrumane accéléra
Son dandinement vers les robes
De la vieille et du magistrat !
Gare au gorille !
" Bah ! soupirait la centenaire,
Qu'on pût encore me désirer
Ce serait extraordinaire,
Et, pour tout dire, inespéré ! "
Le juge pensait, impassible
" Qu'on me prenne pour une guenon,
C'est complètement impossible? "
La suite lui prouva que non !
Gare au gorille !
Supposez qu'un de vous puisse être
Comme le singe, obligé de
Violer un juge ou une ancêtre,
Lequel choisirait-il des deux ?
Qu'une alternative pareille,
Un de ces quatre jours m'échoie
C'est, j'en suis convaincu, la vieille
Qui fera l'objet de mon choix !
Gare au gorille !
Mais par malheur, si le gorille
Aux jeux de l'amour vaut son prix,
On sait qu'en revanche il ne brille
Ni par le goût ni par l'esprit.
Lors, au lieu d'opter pour la vieille
Comme aurait fait n'importe qui,
Il saisit le juge à l'oreille
Et l'entraîna dans un maquis !
Gare au gorille
La suite serait délectable,
Malheureusement je ne peux
Pas la dire et c'est regrettable,
Ca nous aurait fait rire un peu ;
Car le juge, au moment suprême,
Criait : " Maman ! ", pleurait beaucoup,
Comme l'homme auquel le jour même
Il avait fait trancher le cou.
Gare au gorille !
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