This is for all the happy rappers
Who have real nice deals
And have no idea what it's like to work this hard and still break even.
I'm aware I'm a little nuts, and I know I'm a headcase
Unpredictable moods are the toll that the stress takes
I carry the worlds weight until my shoulders and neck ache
My sanity be going down hill like a sled race
All day my legs shake, like a nervous tick
This Adderall don't work for shit, it only gives me thoughts that got me worried sick
Feelings I got bottled up this court is decomposing
That if this shit got opened it would cause a damn explosion
With overflowing emotions that I kept push down
Like it was someone I was trying to drown, I know it now
I'm a little tightly strung and see I know I need to find a doctor
And a therapist and a shimen who got some miro oscar
Cause surviving in this game is full of irratance
It's got me wondering if I'll make it, my greatest fear is this
So when you hear my shit, you'll hear the hunger
As I'm trying to stay financially afloat and keep appearances
I've been in this middle ground, people say I made it
But there's so many that still don't know what my name is
It's hard to get a grasp on where I stand up in this game
All I know is I wouldn't be this broke if I was famous
Shit, I'm almost thirty. Still I feel like such a mess
I added fuel to the fire until I had nothing left
Under stress, with a life full of emptiness
Giving my all, and not a penny less...
In this middle ground, wondering if I'm going to ever blow
Middle ground, tearing at the fabric of my soul
Middle ground, feeling like I'm stuck up in the whole
These insecurities follow every where I go
Middle ground, feeling like I'm barely getting by
Middle ground, Second guessing why I even try
Middle ground, All I know how to do is survive
So mad that I wanna scream, so sad that I wanna cry...
I'm sick of felling like I still got shit I gotta prove to you
I gotta go on Sway again for a salute from you?
Go pull some dumb publicisty stunt shot by a movie crew
Just to be in the same conversation of all these newer dudes
All my life I've been fighting to be accepted
When I'm not I can't help but to be affected
Unfairly percepted, people making assumptions
Off my Melotonin levels and the state that I'm repping
Like I'm some kind of spoiled one percenter go and get the facts
Shit I'm the product of a hard working middle-class
Just cause I wasn't busting a pistol or flipping crack
Doesn't mean I don't got a story worthy of written raps
I'm getting by though, there's Kibble up in Moose's dish
It's better than it use to be but see the truth is this
I re-invest almost everything into this music shit
You think I'd still live at my parents if I was rich?
Really? See I'm just trying to keep my business intact
My sanity come second to these lyrics that I rap
Chain smoking from stress but at 10 dollars a pack
I'm killing myself, I'm killing my pockets with every drag
Fuck it, Imma keep on pushing though because I deserve the glory
I got an army of fans that would murder for me
I do this shit for them until the whole planet has heard my story
Reporting live from Purgatory...
In this middle ground, wondering if I'm going to ever blow
Middle ground, tearing at the fabric of my soul
Middle ground, feeling like I'm stuck up in the whole
These insecurities follow every where I go
Middle ground, feeling like I'm barely getting by
Middle ground, Second guessing why I even try
Middle ground, All I know how to do is survive
So mad that I wanna scream, so sad that I wanna cry...
Christian Talcott Webster, better known by his stage name Chris Webby, is an American rapper. Webster has released many mixtapes such as the DJ Drama-hosted Bars On Me (2012) and his EP There Goes the Neighborhood (2011), which peaked at number 101 on the Billboard 200. He has worked with various artists such as Tory Lanez, DMX, Young M.A, and Busta Rhymes. In 2013, he and his label, Homegrown Music, signed a deal with E1 Music. He then released Homegrown, another EP, in November 2013. Webster released his debut studio album Chemically Imbalanced on October 27, 2014.
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