"I'm at this point right now and I'm just gonna admit it: I'm lost. I don't know who the fuck I am anymore, I'm not gonna lie
I don't know who I am, I don't know what I represent, I don't know what I'm supposed to do here on earth, I don't know what my purpose is, I don't know what I stand for or what I'm supposed to stand for. I know what people want me to stand for, people telling me: "You should do this, you should do this, you should do this", but I just reached that... a little like a speed bump in my life, where it's like "Damn, I don't know who I am no more". So... My new album kinda talks about all that. You'll see that I'm lost and I openly admit it, I'm not... You know, it happens. I'm only human. I can only... I can only go through what I go through and react from what comes. That might pass, so.. uhm. Yeah, I'm just... I don't know what the hell is going on right now."
Der Segen ist, dass es keiner ernst nimmt, wenn ich was sag'. Und der Fluch ist, dass es keiner ernst nimmt, auch wenn ich was ernst meine. Was ich jetzt sage, ist ernst gemeint:
Jedenfalls hab' ich angefangen Texte zu verfassen, nachdem man mir in der sechsten Klasse "The Eminem Show" brannte
Fing an zu rappen mit dem Laptop von mei'm Vater damals, als Maeckes und Plan B grad Theaterstücke machten
Spul ein bisschen vor, Stopp! Oktober 2010 - Stockholm Syndrom EP
Blogs, die mein' Namen erwähnen, top, alles voll okay
Ich mein' da war ich ja noch dope, heute würd' ich's nicht verstehen
Wenn du ein Edgar Wasser Fan bist, dann mach' mal
Dieses Lied hier aus und hör' die Tracks an von damals
Da gab's mal 'nen Künstler, der wirklich was zu sagen hatte
Der nicht das machte, was alle von ihm erwarten
Doch nach und nach ließ er irgendwann nach und nach seiner siebten Ep war dann irgendwie alles, was noch kam, für'n Arsch
Zumindest zum Großteil, zumindest nicht so geil, wie es einmal war
Ich wollte nie so sein, jap, ich wollte so sein, wie ich selbst
Also kopierte ich mich selbst, wurde technisch krasser, nur textlich leider nicht
Was für ein scheiß Pech, dass ich nicht Savas bin
Ich hab' geschworen, dass ich niemals etwas rausbring', von dem ich nicht 100% überzeugt bin
Da war ich mir echt sicher, also ohne Scheiß
Mann, wenn du diesen Song hörst, lag ich wohl trotzdem falsch
Ich hab' mal in 'nem Interview gesagt, dass Musik für mich wie Therapie wäre und keiner hat das Ernst genommen
Aber ich glaub' das war ernst gemeint
Da gab's den Typ namens Maeckes, der wie 'n Held für mich war
Bis zu diesem Tag, an dem 'ne Mail von ihm kam
Ob wir 'nen Song machen woll'n - Ich meinte, "ehrlich gesagt will ich mir den Held nicht kaputt machen
Ich denk' drüber nach, aber Danke", er schrieb, dann wär' ziemlich klar, dass wir keinen Song machen sollten
Doch das Endresultat war ein anderes, war doch klar
Ich mein', der Held ging schon kaputt, in dem Moment, in dem die Nachricht kam
Klasse Aktion, Markus, was für eine Heldentat
Bin ich undankbarer geworden? Ich denk' mal ja
Fame ist so 'ne Sache, die ich immer krass belächelt hab'
Doch stell' ich grad fest, dass ich mich irgendwie verändert hab'
Alles geht kaputt, wenn man es zu lange nutzt
Ja, sogar die Kunst, Mann, hätte ich das gewusst
Dann wär' ich zwar vielleicht gar nicht da, wo ich jetzt bin
Doch wär' eigentlich nicht schlimm, nachts wieder einschlafen zu können
Zwischen Selbstzweifeln und Selbstverliebtheit
Lieg' ich hellwach im Bett und zieh' mir meine eigene Musik rein
Was für eine peinliche, narzisstische Scheiße
Tourette-Syndrom EP, September 2013
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