Je taffe au Festival de Cannes
J't'explique pas le drame
Ici c'est l'village où les mygales
Ont des visages de femmes
Y a des banquiers qui parlent de l'art
À des rentiers qui squattent le bar
Et t'inquiète que ces types-là ne boivent pas
Le même pinard que toi
L'ambiance est estivale ce soir
Ils vont sniffer 10 grammes de came
Pendant qu'des smicards se battent
Pour des dédicaces de stars
Et avec les 10 balles que j'gagne de l'heure
J'mérite pas d'regards dès lors j'bois
Pour qu'j'me calme il m'faut des jerrycans de 'sky
Est-ce la fin ou le début ?
Tout a l'air faux j'ai des doutes je sais plus
J'fais la lumière sur les jours de vécus
En comptant les ampoules dans mes shoes de sécu'
Vis ma vie d'prolo ça fait les biscotos j'ai un p'tit polo
À l'effigie d'la marque qui me nique trop l'dos
On m'dit Zippo yo ! J'leur dis nan, nan, c'est un quiproquo !
C'est tellement humiliant qu'ça en devient risible
J'tire des palettes d'une tonne, mais j'suis invisible
Pardon, je sais j'fais tâche face à vos mannequins, mais
Poussez-vous avant qu'je défonce vos mocassins d'merde
Ici les requins se requinquent
On dirait qu'ils ont 200 dents qu'ils exhibent dans des sourires condescendants
Tandis qu'on descend dans un océan d'indécence
Où on fait semblant d'ignorer qu'ce monde est sanglant
En s'mettant des gants blancs
Vas-y plonge dans le champagne et nage avec tes amis bourges
Mes songes sont remplis de rats qui rongent vos tapis rouges
Allez-y sortez le grand jeu, ouais, parlez de banlieue
Au fond d'un fauteuil en velours c'est sûr ça passe tellement mieux
J'ai mis les pieds dans un monde étrange où on t'écrase Gentiment avant qu'on t'étrangle avec un long métrage
Et quand t'es d'dans c'est emmerdant
T'es d'vant des gens souvent çais-fran et blancs
Rêvant sûrement d'être dans des enterrements sur grand écran
Des peoples qui picoleront quand la nuit tombera
Des ivrognes qui tripoteront des p'tites connes
Qui pour ne pas faire des sitcoms
S'inventeront des diplômes
Se déguiseront en filles bonnes
Bien frivoles comme leurs idoles
Et se bricoleront une opinion sur l'art, genre
"J'kiffe quand c'est subversif
Tu fais des super films
Mais bon la beauté c'est subjectif"
Elles parlent fort elles disent que Cannes ne dort
Jamais pendant 15 jours regardent leur garde-robe en pensant à la Palme d'or
Putain qu'est-ce que j'fous là ?
J'me noie dans cette foule j'coule
J'me dis Zipp' il pourra en faire des chansons demain
J'pousse des cris sans l'son j'me plains
D'être The Artist quand j'fume ma clope du côté du jardin
Mais j'oublierai pas c'que la vie m'enseigne
Du coup j'ai les bases de la mise en scène
Jetez-vous des fleurs, j'vais participer même si je n'ai que des chrysanthèmes
J'suis un alien, Hollywood n'est pas une grande planète
Nan j'pense pas pouvoir monter les marches avec un transpalette
J'f'rai l'tour par l'entrée des artistes, j'vais prendre les paris, faire
Chauffer les quadriceps, et m'entraîner à vivre
Et puis demain j'reviendrai fort et on se croisera un soir
Et je vous raconterai ma vie, vous voudrez en faire une histoire
Et je vous répondrai que moi, ça fait des années que j'écris
Des chansons sur vous sans demander la permission ni le prix
Et vous me regarderez perplexes, et moi je partirai fair-play
Et j'irai appuyer sur [REC], et vous vous partirez faire Play
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David Crosby against Phoebe Bridgers, if we had been in the Middle Ages, they probably would have challenged each other with the sword, while in 2021 they decided to go wild with tweets.
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