From Bette Midler's Live At Last CD
I was in the woods last night with my boyfriend Ernie, and he said to me "Soph",(he always called me Soph),he said to me "Soph, these woods sure are dark I sure wish I had a flash light", I said to him "so do I Ernie. You have been munching grass for the last ten minutes."
I will never forget it. It was on the occasion of Ernie's eightieth birthday and in honor of the occasion he married a twenty year old girl. And he rang me up the very next day and he said to me "Soph, Soph, I have just married myself a twenty year old girl, what do you think of that". And I said to him "Ernie when I am eighty years old I shall marry myself a twenty year old boy, and let me tell you something Ernie twenty goes into eighty a hell of a lot more than eighty goes into twenty."
I was in bed last night with my boyfriend Ernie, and he said to me "Soph, you got no tits and a tight box". I said to him "Ernie get off my back."
From Bette Midler's Mud Will Be Flung Tonight CD
I Will never forget it you know. I was in bed one night with my boyfriend Ernie he began combing his hair there was a great shower of dandruff all about the bed. I said to him "Ernie what's that?" he said to me "Soph those are the snows of Kilamanjaro". He leaped from the bed he ran to the loo I could hear him through the door relieving himself violently (swish, swish, swish, swish) I said to him "Ernie what the hell is that?" he said to me "Soph those are the rains of Ronjapoor". He leaped from the bed, he ran back to bed, no he leaped from the loo he ran back to the bed, he leaped from the bed, he ran out the window, that's not right either, a humongous dick that wants to reach out and touch someone imagine that, he ran back from the loo, what happened then ah yes of course I hit a blank spot. On his way back from the loo he had dare I say an attack of flatulates, how could I forget that. He had an attack of flatulates (pbbt) the cheese was cut. I said to him "Ernie what the hell is that?" he said to me "Soph those are the winds of Crackatoa." That was enough for me I jumped into my clothes I was out the door like a like a shot. I could hear him calling me from down the road. "Where are you going? What's wrong?" I said who can fuck in this weather."
I will never forget it you know. Doorbell rang the other day I answered the door there was a delivery boy there, a delivery boy there with two dozen roses. I grabbed the card and I opened it it said love, from your boyfriend Ernie. I was having tea with my girlfriend Clementine at the time I said "Clementine do you know what this means. For the next two weeks I'm going to be flat on my back with my legs wide open". "Clementine says to me what's the matter with you ain't you got a vas."
I will never forget it you know. Yet another cutting the cheese joke. Listen to how I make it my own. I will never forget it you know. It was my honeymoon with my boyfriend Ernie we were on the Silvercheif we had a car all to ourselves when suddenly I cut the cheese. Ernie said "Oh my God, Soph is that you", "did you just fart", I said of course I did you think I always smell like this."
I will never forget it you know. For the longest time I didn't wear no underwear. Used to drive my boyfriend Ernie absolutely batty that I didn't wear no underwear. One day I caught a terrible cold, Ernie said to me "Soph you've got to go see the doctor I said alright, make an appointment for me." So he rang up the doctor but unbeknownst to me this is what he told the doctor. "Doc I'm sending Soph over, she got a terrible cold but that's not the problem, the problem is she don't wear no underwear, tell her she got this cold on the count of she don't wear no underwear you got that." "Right o" says the doctor so I like a Schmuck trot on down to the doctor's office the doctor said "Soph open your mouth and say Ah" I open my mouth I said "Ah" he looked down my throat he said "Soph, you ain't wearin no underwear", I said "I beg your pardon doctor?" he said to me "Soph you ain't wearin no underwear" I said "doctor you can look down my throat and see I ain't wearin no underwear" he said "that's right Soph" I said "doc do me a favor, look up my ass and tell me if my hat's on straight."
In the realm of rock 'n' roll, there are few names as iconic as Queen, and within the Queen pantheon, Brian May stands out not only as a legendary guitarist but also as an astrophysicist with a profound connection to NASA.
Hip-hop, one of the most influential cultural movements of the 20th and 21st centuries, has recently reached a significant milestone - it's turning 50 years old.
Coachella Festival 2022: here we are. In two days the doors of one of the most anticipated musical events of the year will open, even more so after the last two years in which for very obvious reasons the live music sector has suffered a very important setback.
The 2022 Grammy Awards were the chronicle of an announced triumph: Jon Baptiste collected 11 nominations and won 5 Grammys, defeating all opponents. This was also the year of the very young Olivia Rodrigo, who managed to take home 3 Grammys, including the the best new artist.
Here is finally some good news, the Arcade Fire have finally revealed the title and release date of their new album, 5 years after the last one. For the fan of the group it has been a time that seemed eternal,
Do we want to define "I know you know me" a masterpiece? Yes, without a shadow of a doubt for at least two reasons. The first and most evident are the artists who interpret it: Caroline Spence and Matt Berninger, second for the deep and poetic text.
My favorite group when I was just a teenager were the Fugees, thanks to them a certain curiosity about english language was born in me. I wanted to know and understand the lyrics of their songs, it wasn't enough for me to be carried away exclusively by their beautiful music.
Sweden and the United States are two countries far from each other, thousands of kilometers separate them, the language, culinary and sporting traditions, I don't feel so categorical about the landscapes, not knowing all of America there may be states that have the same reliefs of the country of northern Europe, but on one thing I am sure
It has been talked about for almost 3 years, rumored and it is hoped that sooner or later they will arrive at a collaboration, and now we are satisfied: the Catalan singer Rosalia and the American musician Oneohtrix finally announce the publication of a piece together!
In England there are institutions that are untouchable, first of all Queen Elizabeth II who reigns undisputed in the beating heart of every Englishman, then there are the Beatles, and that's the reason why they were awarded the title of baronets.
Looking at the images, one immediately thinks of archive photos of at least a year and a half ago. Lots of people together without masks dancing freely
How a music group can deliver strong and clear messages without singing is a mystery yet Canadians GoodSpeed You! Black Emperor they succeed very well.
"Creep" by Radiohead is certainly one of the most listened to, revisited and reinterpreted songs in the history of music. So much loved and listened to on all six continents, at least once in our life we all found ourselves humming it.
Very bad story for rapper T.I. and his wife Tiny, in fact, they have been accused of sexual abuse and kidnapping.
The malefactor managed to take Koji and Gustavo away, while Miss Asia, the third bulldog, escaped and was found shortly after by Lady Gaga's bodyguards.
David Crosby against Phoebe Bridgers, if we had been in the Middle Ages, they probably would have challenged each other with the sword, while in 2021 they decided to go wild with tweets.
Evan Rachel Wood, the beautiful protagonist of Westworld has decided to denounce the violence she has suffered for years, at least according to what she claims, by Marilyn Manson.
After some positive signs in the past months, here is the news that we weren't hoping to learn and that throws new questions on the possibility of organizing festivals and live concerts for 2021.
The winners of the 43rd edition of the Kennedy Center Honors have recently been announced, including Joan Baez, Dick Van Dyke, Debbie Allen and the violinist Midori.
The band Soundgarden recently recorded two classics with Brandie Carlile. After the death of their leader Chris Cornell, the band had decided to stop for some time also as a sign of respect for the untimely death of their front man.
New year is synonymous of news and in fact 2021 opened with a nice surprise. The American rock group, The Foo Fighters, founded in 1994 by Dave Grohl ex drummer of Nirvana, delight us with the release of a new single entitled "No son of Mine".
He was 69 and on Christmas Day, guitarist Tony Rice, Bluegrass legend, passed away. His label, Rounder Records, made the news with an official release on December 26th.
We still talk about music, but today we do it from a different point of view, taking a cue from a book, a photographic book called Ten Cities.
I was about 6 years old when I listened for the first time "Blowing in the wind" hummed by my mom while she was accompanying me to school, the version was the Italian one, but I liked the rhythm right away.