[mc chris]
Is she dope, yep, ass in full effect
She walks into the room and all the guys come down with strep
Thinkin they can step, their hands go up with sweat
But she be down with me since +Fett's Vette+ (jets, jets)
She's a hard drinka, a lollypop licker
A pistol packing mama got me posed like a thinker
She gold like the Aztecs or is it the Incas
She call the shot and the shot be cunnilingus
She heavensent on the X-Box playing Halo
Wish that she would clean my pipes like she was Draino
Wish she wasn't hotter than a plate of jalapeños
I feel like the kid, that wants to eat his Play-Doh
You shouldn't cause it should be bad for your health
Take one look at her and you be screamin for help
Or call up the police say put me in a cell
I can't resist this dish I'm under Emily's spell
If you couldn't already tell I love every iota
Yoda should have told me she was off to South Dakota
One more yacht bird flew the coop
I guess old Gordy done screwed the pooch
[Chorus]
Only thing I love more than herb is the bird
But my luck's kinda fucked it's a wonder that I flirt
But I do and I will cause I'm still just a nerd
Ever been left behind, let me hear you say word
[mc chris]
She's a go getter dressed in a sweater
We watched _Black Hawk Down_ together
Her name's Heather, there's no better
Didn't wan't her to go, but I had to let her
Remember hot weather, there I first met her
Ellen was saying we should so get together
Miss going on dates, girls getting dolled up
Outside the yacht club, can't belive she showed up
Scholios chick, one fake tit
Always bitin her lip, always walkin with a limp
Always talkin shit, always beggin to kiss
Cause you can't resist the lips of an mc chris
We only had a month to hump it was rough
She was the first one that brought over a tooth brush
She missed home, horses in the barn
Life was sucking so Kentucky was pulling her arm
Just one bird that got away
Keep up to date by checkin her LJ
On my birthday she bought me Chucks
Not only does it blow it totally sucks
[Chorus]
[mc chris]
Her name was L.B., she was an actress
I filled up her spaces like madlibs
Way above average she was just a sad kid
So I couldn't help but give the girl my address
She live in Texas like to get messed up
Like to tease the boys so she always got dressed up
Like to get in fights with the truckers at the rest stop
She was top notch and her bod was the best part
Fan of mine summertime droppin me a line
Sounded kinda cute couldn't help but reply
Chillin in her pool squintin at the sky
Cell phone rings mc says high
So we're talking everyday, flirtin up a storm
Plans a road trip I say word is born
And my mind's set on porn, and I think I'm gonna score
I get down on all fours start scrubbin all the floors
Then I get all nervous that an accident is imminent
Never have a chance to relax and get intimate
Arrives at my drive, I sigh, get all shy
So we all get all high walk down little 5
Do a shot buy some pot, take a seat on the street
She's cute and she's nice and she's hot and she's sweet
And she makes the first move cause I'm set on defeat
Then I tongue lap her flaps till she snaps and she screams
And she just leaves, and I'm kinda relieved
No OD's VD's hearts on my sleeve
Not a stalker just a talker ass tight as a weave
Once a newbie now a groupie double clicking on me - what?
[Chorus]
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Torche
Aaron Sprinkle
Expose
The Rapture
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Odesza
Marshall Crenshaw
Kerrie Roberts
Eddie Floyd
Tristan Prettyman
Vic Mignogna