Mais où est-donc passée Grand-Mère ?
Je l'ai cherchée toute la journée
J'l'avais laissée sur l'rocking chair
Y'avait Sevran à la télé
Mais je m'inquiète son siège est vide
Personne l'a vue dans la maison
A-t-elle été un peu timide
Pour nous cacher ses ambitions
Est-elle partie vers d'autres terres
Goûter aux délices des rois
Chercher des jades en montgolfière ?
Mon grand fiston m'a dit : " J'crois pas... "
C'est Raoul mon pitbull
Qui l'a trouvée appétissante
C'est Raoul mon pitbull
Il est gentil mais quelle descente !
Il aime jouer, il est cool
Mais s'il a un p'tit creux dans l'ventre
Il te croque dès que tu rentres
C'est Raoul mon pitbull
Bon, je l'avoue, ça m'a fait drôle
D'imaginer un tel carnage
Mais on va pas le mettre en taule
On s'y fera, y'a l'héritage...
De toutes façons, elle était vieille
Et puis elle me battait au Scrabble
Elle avait une tête de Sharpeï
Et ses cadeaux étaient minables
Mais il faut qu'j'aille prév'nir Gisèle
C 'était sa mère à elle tout d'même...
Elle doit essuyer la vaisselle
" Attends Papa y'a un problème... "
Y'a Raoul, etc...
Ah oui mais là ça d'vient pénible
Si on n'est plus tranquille chez soi
On va l'emm'ner dans un chenil
Et on va prendre un chihuahua
Et le plus grave dans cette affaire
C'est qu'c'est bientôt l'heure du dîner
Et je n'sais pas ce qu'on va faire
Maint'nant qu'ta mère s'est faite bouffer
Va chercher ta p'tite s?ur Anne-Lise
On va aller dans un " drive in "
" Attends Papa, il faut qu'j'te dise... "
Oh ! Non ! C'est bon, je crois qu'j'devine...
Au refrain
Non, non, non...
C'est Hubert mon cocker
Qui voulait pas s'trouver en reste
C'est Hubert mon cocker
Avec Raoul ils se détestent
Il voulait rester fier
Et avoir sa part du gâteau
C'est normal, il a l'sang chaud
C'est Hubert mon cocker...
Tiens voilà qu'ça sonne à la porte
Qui c'la peut être à cette heure-ci
C'est p'têt Maman ; Non, elle est morte !
C'est la voisine Madame Petit.
Elle dit qu'elle a pendant des heures
Entendu des cris dramatiques
Qui lui ont déchiré le c?ur
Et qu'elle voudrait app'ler les flics
Mais entrez donc, dehors il gèle ;
Il fait meilleur dans le salon
Pendant qu'on vous fait un cocktail
Raoul sera vot' compagnon...
Au refrain
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