Nous étions trois jeunes matelots
Trois beaux marins grands et costauds
Embarqués un jour à Toulon
Sans uniformes et sans galons
Sur le porte-avions Clemenceau
Nous étions trois jeunes militaires
Pas trop amoureux de la guerre
Mais nous voulions bien nous faire tondre
En échange d'un tour du monde
Sur un joli bateau en fer
Le premier de ces matelots
était Breton jusqu'au mégot
Mais il était con comme un manche
Comme un déjeuner du dimanche
Comme un article du Figaro
L'avait grandi au bord de l'eau
Mais n'en avait jamais bu trop
à quinze ans pour une donzelle
Il a déserté La Rochelle
Pour les remparts de Saint-Malo
Rue de la Soif on le vit beau
à écumer tous les tripots
Et lorsque s'en venait l'aurore
Roulait de bâbord à tribord
Et s'échouait dans le ruisseau
Voulut partir sur un bateau
Goûter un peu du sirocco
En pensant avec raison
Que l'océan rendait moins con
Mais pour lui y'avait du boulot
Dieu qu'elle est belle
L'histoire des trois matelots
Presque aussi belle
Que l'pont du Clemenceau
Le deuxième de ces matelots
était Corse dans toute sa peau
Il était méchant comme la tourmente
Vicieux comme une déferlante
Comme un article de Jean Cau
L'avait grandi au bord de l'eau
Mais n'en buvait que dans l'Pernod
à quinze ans par un légionnaire
S'est fait tailler une boutonnière
Près d'la citadelle d'Ajaccio
L'est devenu un vrai salaud
S'est fait tatouer les biscottos
Entre le prénom de sa mère
Des loups des serpents des panthères
Et le Christ au milieu du dos
Voulut partir sur un bateau
Pour ne jamais vivre comme un veau
Et pour faire voyager sa haine
De cette putain de race humaine
Peuplée de rats et de blaireaux
Dieu qu'elle est longue
L'histoire des trois matelots
Presque aussi longue
Que l'pont du Clemenceau
Le dernier de ces matelots
C'était moi, j'étais Parigot
J'étais bon comme la romaine
Rusé malin comme une hyène
Musclé comme un flan aux pruneaux
J'avais grandi très loin de l'eau
J'en buvais autant qu'un moineau
à quinze ans j'ai quitté Paname
Pour chasser d'mon coeur une femme
Qui voulait y faire son berceau
J'ai bourlingué comme un clodo
J'ai rencontré des écolos
Qui m'ont dit : Va voir les baleines
Qui vivent dans les eaux lointaines
Tu verras que ce monde est beau
Voulus partir sur un bateau
Pour voir la terre d'un peu plus haut
Doubler l'cap Horn dans les deux sens
Et voyager de Recouvrance
Jusqu'aux bordels de Macao
Dieu qu'elle est dure
L'histoire des trois matelots
Presque aussi dure
Que l'pont du Clemenceau
Le premier de ces matelots
Qui était con comme un drapeau
Il a fini plein de galons
Plein de sardines sur son veston
Et plein de merde sous son calot
Le deuxième de ces matelots
Qui était méchant comme un corbeau
Il a fini dans une vitrine
Au ministère de la marine
Petit chef derrière un bureau
Le dernier de ces matelots
S'est fait virer de son bateau
Pour avoir offert son pompon
à une trop jolie Ninon
Contre un baiser sucré et chaud
Si votre enfant est un salaud
Un vrai connard, une tête pleine d'eau
Faites-en donc un militaire
Alors il fera carrière
Sur un navire, dans un bureau
Mais s'il est bon, mais s'il est beau
Même s'il est un peu alcoolo
Qu'il fasse son tour de la terre
Tout seul sur un bateau en fer
Mais pas sur l'pont du Clemenceau
Simple soldat, brave matelot
Surtout ne m'en veuillez pas trop
Cette chanson je ne l'ai chantée
Que pour les planqués, les gradés
Les abonnés du Figaro
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